07/19/2026
An Update from the Owner: as to why I’ve been slower in content and not getting things done.
“The pain I feel from this choice for divorce is unmatched by anything ive ever felt. Sabrina was supposed to be my future, my wife. Someone to have babies, grow old with and die with. Forever and ever. But the truth that she grew disinterested and had no desire for me months back only now brings forward the pain that I face alone. The farther she pulled the harder I loved and it has left a deep pit of pain and despair in me that will take a long time to heal. I know it was mutually agreed that we were holding each other back. But the fact is, I took all the pain because she doesn't have the capacity to hold onto anyone in her interests. Sabrina only thinks of herself and the thrill of chasing that new dopamine hit with the start of new relationships. Monogamy isn't something she can do and the fact I fell for her proves she is careless with her heart and she destroys every man she pulls in.
Sabrina wasn’t my only choice when I decided to date her. I had a large pool of options. But she seemed like the one. I enjoyed her energy, her girly persona. She made me feel like a man with a woman worth protecting. The goals seemed clear and happiness was around every bend.
She promised life, she promised it's not her. But it is her. Once she gets bored, she cheats. It may not be in the form of sexual encounters to start. Though I’ve recently learned it definitely was. But she keeps secrets and a new man available to run to as soon as her previous commitment is all but broken and destroyed and can no longer live in peace with her presence. She walks the line and breaks the man till there's nothing left to salvage, then she moves onto the new guy the next day if not that night. She even demanded a break for us to take time to ourselves. And while I was working on being an even better husband. She was entertaining another man and allowed him into our house and bed while refusing me entry into our home. Even stopping me at the door in nothing but a tshirt and underwear. I caught them cheating. I was clear with my intentions from day one and she's not only broken me, but delayed my life goals. She's left me a mess and in a worse place than when I met her. I have no money, no home and no happiness.
Now I have to restart. Almost from nothing. That pool of options is gone.
Because of the destruction she brought into my life, I have attempted su***de once and considered it several times over since then. To the point I was sent to psychiatric rehabilitation. And the same night mere seconds after I agreed to the divorce, she was on the phone with him ready for her new betrayal to blossom. I have lost interest in all activities and the entire county has become a cesspool of pain and misery over the memories I once considered a good time. But now only seem a pack of lies. She failed to treat me as a husband. She failed to treat me as a lover. She failed to treat me as a friend. She broke my trust and crossed all my boundaries with zero care for my mental well being. I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression, I’ve begun a new regiment of anti depressants and have since begun a new regiment of therapy.
Any complaints she might have had about my mental and physical health and my desire for sexual and physical intimacy are null for she’s the one that created the war zone I had to live in. She refused me love. She refused me intimacy. She refused me the promise of children. And she’s set my entire life behind. Breaking my spirit knowing the goals I had set to accomplish with her have been forever pushed farther away. While she clocked out of our marriage out of boredom months ago to pursue a new man. I fought and fought and loved harder and harder to make something out of what I now see was one sided the entire time. Every compromise, every no, every heartache. Pushed aside for someone who truly didn’t care. She used me, abused me and manipulated me to break into but a shadow of the man I was prior to her involvement in my life.
She only cared about the excitement I provided during the honeymoon phase and the money in my wallet. She used me to advance herself and her status.
I understand the complexity of the settlement arrangement and the forced nature of communication and collaboration needed to allow the agreement to succeed in both parties favor. I know it requires me to trust her in a way I know I’ll never be able to again. I hope she gets her ducks in a row and completes this agreement without any further delay. And that it is settled fast so I may never see or hear from her again. If I wasn’t so in the hole financially I would just leave without any repayment but alas. I’m struggling more than ever before. I’m sleeping on a futon in a basement. I barely eat. Sleeping is extremely hard. And the influx of emotions that sweep through me whenever they so choose leaves me in a constant state of sorrow and anger.
And the entire time leading up to this case finally being submitted and completed. I had to be the one to wear a mask. But mine was to avoid a fight. Not because I wanted to cheat. I wanted this to go smoothly so I could leave this town. This state. This pain. She will refuse to see what she has done. She will refuse to accept she cheated. She will refuse to acknowledge my pain and suffering just as she refused to acknowledge all of my emotions and feelings during our relationship. And I know she deserves no kindness from me. But my sentence is complete. I served my time. I learned my lessons. Never trust Sabrina. Never let her into your life. She wants to be used and abused so be it. I just regret that it had to involve me. She is her mothers child and the only road she will travel is the one her mother paved.
I didn’t ask for this divorce because I wanted it to end. I asked for it because she had already ended it.
No offense, but if I had known how it would all turn out, I would have ignored you that day. I don’t regret you but sometimes I wish I had walked away in the beginning and left things at hello. Because I let you become my happiness, and that’s where I went wrong.”
