05/27/2026
The Father Who Left — And the God Who Stayed.
There are wounds in this world that do not simply hurt. They echo. A father’s su***de is one of them.
It leaves questions that can live inside a child for years. Why didn’t he stay? Did he love me? Was I not enough? Could I have stopped it? Will I become the same way? Those questions quietly shape the way a young man sees himself, life, and sometimes even God if they are never brought into the light.
One of the hardest realities about su***de is that many people who take their own life do not truly want death. Most of the time, they want relief. Relief from pressure. Relief from shame. Relief from exhaustion. Relief from feeling trapped inside a mind that has become a battlefield.
Over the course of my own life, I have wrestled with those thoughts myself at times. The temptation to disappear from the pressures of life can feel real when pain, responsibility, disappointment, and exhaustion begin piling on top of each other. But what I have also learned is this: while removing yourself may seem like an escape from the pain, it also removes you from the blessings you cannot yet see. It removes you from future healing, future joy, future redemption, future purpose, and from the people who still need your presence more than you realize.
That is part of why I have become passionate about creating a place for men who feel like they have no place, because too many men are silently drowning while pretending they are fine.
From the time many boys are young, they are taught to suppress emotion, hide weakness, endure pressure quietly, and keep functioning no matter how broken they become internally. Some men become providers while quietly becoming prisoners inside their own mind. Isolation becomes dangerous because a man can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.
Over time, some men begin believing the lie that their family would somehow be better off without them. That they are failing as fathers, husbands, providers, or men. But that lie does not come from God. The enemy loves hopelessness because hopelessness blinds people from truth.
The truth is that a struggling father is still more valuable than an absent one. Children do not need a perfect father. They need a present one.
Su***de does not end pain. It transfers it. Often directly into the hearts of sons and daughters who spend years trying to understand what happened and wondering if they were somehow part of the reason. They were not.
And to every son whose father took his own life, hear this clearly: your father’s decision does not have to become your destiny. Pain is real, but pain is not prophecy. You are not condemned to repeat the same story.
Jesus Christ is still able to heal what trauma breaks.
Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Not distant. Not absent. Near.
The hope of life is not found in pretending pain does not exist. The hope of life is found in Jesus Christ entering directly into our pain and not abandoning us there. Christ still sees the broken man. Christ still sees the grieving son. Christ still walks into darkness and brings light with Him. There are places in the human heart that therapy, money, success, distractions, relationships, or addiction can never fully heal. Only Jesus can reach the deepest wounds of the soul.
Sometimes the greatest act of courage a man can do is not dying for others, but choosing to keep living while hurting. Choosing to ask for help. Choosing to speak honestly. Choosing to let someone know he is not okay before the darkness convinces him he has no value.
There are men right now smiling publicly while collapsing privately. And if that is you, do not isolate yourself. Do not disappear. Do not believe every thought that enters your mind. Feelings are real, but they are not always truthful. Storms speak loudly, but God speaks deeper.
There is still a future beyond this season, even if you cannot currently see it.
And to the young man whose father is gone: your earthly father may be absent, but your Heavenly Father is not. Jesus Christ still loves you, still sees you, still has purpose for your life, and still has the power to turn pain into something that helps heal others one day.
The story is not over.
Heaven’s Breath
Some men do not truly want death. They simply do not know how to carry the weight they are carrying anymore. That is why men need truth, brotherhood, grace, honesty, and most importantly Jesus Christ. Darkness grows in isolation, but healing often begins the moment someone finally says, “I’m not okay.”
Prayer
Father God, be near to every son and daughter carrying the grief of losing a parent to su***de. Heal wounds words cannot reach. Break the lies of shame, abandonment, hopelessness, and fear. And for every man silently battling despair right now, remind him that his life has value because You gave it value. Give him the courage to reach for help instead of surrendering to darkness. Let the hope of Jesus Christ become stronger than the pain he feels today.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen. 🙏🏽❤️
— APW, Sr.