05/22/2026
Ever have a friend whose "special skills" you should have taken as a warning? ⚠️
Back when I was at the University of Miami in the late '70s, my buddy Bob Lemon and I headed over to the campus Rathskeller after a grueling day of music rehearsals. I was exhausted from hauling a massive white sousaphone under the blazing Florida sun, so a cold beer sounded perfect.
Bob, a farm boy from Homestead, decided the beer pitchers were a personal challenge. 🍺
On the long walk back to the 960 dorm complex, we passed Lake Osceola and spotted a absolute unit of a bird—a colossal, pure-white Pekin duck. In one terrifyingly smooth motion, Bob scooped it up under his arm like a stack of textbooks.
I panicked. Bob smiled. And then we hit the bright fluorescent lights of the dorm lobby... which is exactly when the duck decided to file a formal, pressurized, biological complaint. 🤢💨
What happened next involves a very tense 11-floor elevator ride, a trail of wet payloads down the hallway, and some poor guy screaming, "A DUCK JUST S**T ON MY BED!"
I’ve put together a fully storyboarded video of the entire true story. Trust me, you need to watch this one until the very end to hear about the getaway car. 😂 👇
https://youtu.be/EIo4JvbMtR4
Drop a comment below: What’s the wildest thing you or your roommates ever snuck into a college dorm room? 👇
The Duck Who Was Too Pooped to Quack 🦆💨 | A True 1970s College LegendWhat starts as a simple, innocent beer at the campus Rathskeller can quickly turn into...