05/26/2023
so i been holding my feelings in and i don’t want to anymore - I HAVENT BEEN THE BEST FATHER I COULD BE
BUT For some reason, it’s been a way bigger exaggerated story that has been fed to not 1 or 2
but my THREE OLDEST Have decided that they not gonna speak to me like at all
THEY CUT NE OFF And i been messaging tryna call, haven’t been pulling up as much to these other states since the pandemic i slowed down spending 3-4-500 on a rental
when that money can pay a CAR NOTE To own
long story short
i haven’t done anything to any of my babymothers
like we don’t rock wit one another bcuz of the way i used to be
now that i’m about to be pushing 50 in a bit (looking ahead to the near future) IM PREPARING TO LEAVE NYC And see what the f**k is the issue and why would the mothers of my kids make my children just completely s**t on my existence
Financially i had a few plans that didn’t work out
we all go through that
i didn’t finish college, but i attempted to go
i kno the whole rap thing is up for debate but i was under the impression that if not me MAYBE One of my cousins was gonna build an elite team so we could go hard and make something of ourselves even if not the main talent or artist but find a young new dope artist and help them blow up
OVER 30 years and no real support from anyone in my hood so let’s just put that dream down
point is
EVEN IF YOUR FATHER IS A DEAD BEAT
EVEN IF YOUR FATHER IS AN ADDICT
EVEN IF YOUR FATHER WAS A CHEATER
YA FATHER HAD ANOTHER FAMILY
YA FATHER IS / was a workaholic
an alcoholic
WATEVA
Imagine how it would feel if you treated yaself like you ain’t s**tt
why wouldn’t you guys wanna see if maybe
HES OK
MAYBE HES DEPRESSED
MAYBE HE NEEDS HELP WITH HIS ADDICTION(s)
MAYBE HE DOESNT SEE GOD FOR WHAT GOD REALLY IS
MAYBE HIS BODY
IS T THE SAME
OR HES GOING THRU CHANGES
MENTAL
PHYSICAL
Wateva
i feel like nobody gives a f**k about what a man goes thru until it’s time to bash him
and ya NYC Ni99az always worried about the smoke the girls the clothes,fly gear and cars and selling and bein a thug
none of that s**t worked out for me
none of my relationships either
but the ones i’m craving and crying tryna figure out how ima be able to break back in
b4 it’s too late
i think it’s past the point of no return
but
nobody will ever love your kids more then you
so FATHERS
TRY TO FIX Ya life
u might inspire someone to do so
A father with his daughter when he graduated and when she graduated.