09/22/2022
“I packed on the muscle to cover it up. What our neighbor did to me; when I was a kid. It left such a darkness and shadow inside me. So much anger and sexual confusion. My high school wrestling coaches used to test me for steroids every single week; that’s how much anger and aggression was inside of me. But I didn’t beat up my body with drugs, like some people do. I beat it up in the gym. Working out made me feel embodied. Like nobody would f**k with me. At the age of 21 I decided to train for the Mr. Olympia competition. I was down to 4 percent body fat. I was getting striations like crazy. Then one day I’m riding the elevator at my office, and it froze. It hovered for one second. Then it dropped. I thought I was going to die. It fell three stories before the emergency brakes kicked in. Four herniated discs in my back. Three in my neck. I needed two shoulder operations, a knee operation. I had platinum and titanium wires put into my back. It was months and months of not being able to work out. Sitting in this dark room. No sunshine. All that pain and suffering from my childhood just rushed out. I remember sitting in my wheelchair, next to a busy street, and wanting so bad to just roll over the curb. But this is a comeback story. I’m having a little bit of a comeback right now. After my last spinal surgery, I got the sense that I could lift again. I put on a garbage bag, and walked 2.5 miles a day, in 95-degree heat, carrying weights. I lost 75 pounds. The entire time I was listening to the Rocky music. Eye of The Tiger, on repeat. Rocky is my hero. He wasn’t super smart and neither am I, especially since the brain injury. But we both know how to keep fighting. I even got a tattoo of a tiger on my chest. Its mouth is open. It’s scaring the pain away: not just the physical pain, all of the pain. Right now I’m training for my first competition. It’s a just small one in December, called Classic Physique. But I went hard today, and I’m feeling super strong. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I want people to see me on the podium. I want to engrave a sentiment. That if this man can do it, anybody can. This isn’t gonna be a sad story. It’s gonna be a Rocky story.”
