09/25/2023
2 nights ago I fell in love with manic depression. There he was, chainsmoking infront of my building- covered in unconventional piercings and tattoos, as mysterious as the night sky. As I walked outside waiting for a cab- he right away mumbled to me something about hating the rain. "What did you say?" He repeated his words louder and I right away felt something so familiar. We looked into eachothers eyes and he said to me non chalantly "I'm bipolar".
I replied "I know" "I know it very well when I see it"!
I grew up around my genius grandfather who suffered from bi-polar, his life was full of extreme madness. Racism he experienced as a paratrooper in world War 2 lead to Shock treatments, lithium which led to a stroke. I loved my grandfather- even though he could no longer speak- his smiles and his kindness and love shined through. All I wanted was to fix him, all I wanted was to protect him.
For 10 minutes as I waited for my cab- that handsome man reminded me of my abuelo. He kept mumbling, looking deep into my eyes- I made sure to tell him with all my being that I was falling madly in love with him. It was obviously a mutual fast love. As my cab drove up- I started walking away from him- I turned around, walking backwards with my eyes fixed deep into his soul - I demanded to know his name. We exchanged names, exchanged one last long intimate stare- he told me which apartment he was hanging in for the night and I smiled and turned away, knowing that we could never be. Atleast I experienced a 10 minute love affair which I can smile about whenever I want.
I fell in love with manic depression and it/he fell back in love with me
