05/26/2015
Effective immediately, I am discontinuing my choreographic work, and while Dirt and Grime will continue to exist in my own personal explorations, I will not be putting work out for the time being. From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank everyone who has supported and believed in my 'self' and those whom I've worked alongside.
Some thoughts on the subject:
What is the role of art in our lives? More specifically, what is the role of art in an artist's life?
I often hear art spoken of as some great 'other'. "Be true to your art." "Let your work be whatever it needs to be." "My art speaks through me." I never really understood all that, it seemed like it was limiting what how far reaching the self could be.
I have been making my own art work for almost ten years now. My goal was always to be one thing: honest. To that end, I believe I have been incredibly successful. I have created work with demons, and intensity, and struggle, and compassion, and loneliness, and sadness. I made things this way, not because of some great plan, but because that's what I knew so well. That was me. My reality was full of these things. My reality was dirty, and grimey - so that's what I made.
Those not so close to me were surprised when they saw my most recent work, Bermuda. They were shocked by how violent it was, how intense, and downright scary it was. Those very close to me had reactions that did not at all include surprise. They knew well the mental/physical world I experienced on the daily, and knew that what they were watching was a fairly direct translation of that.
I've heard before that a great artist must be troubled to make great art. I always wondered, then what is the point of great art? If it simply expresses a lack of joy with one's life experience, is that enough? What the point of life then? Only to suffer? Yet to equally not accept suffering, and simply hope for some happy moments along the way? Then what, the point is to sit down and discuss it via conversation or artwork? I never dug that.
Creating art for me has always been an expression of my desire to escape. I've had this deep feeling of being in prison for a very long time, and all I wanted was to get out. Well...this morning in a shower meditation, I did just that. I woke up. I got out of the prison I've been in since I was around thirteen; perhaps one that goes back to the age of six.
I have connected with many things I love while in "prison" - people, places, things, nouns apparently - and I have connected with them through prison. Now I feel the need to do some other things in order to figure out who the f**k I am when I'm no longer in prison. Currently, that journey does not include creating work in a public sphere.
If I were to continue making work right now, it would be using my prison vocabulary. I need to let go of prison in its many forms. When if it feels right, I'll be back to gettin' grimey and dirty for all you wonderful folks. Of course, I'll do so in a less prison-y - though equally as exciting - way.
What is the purpose of art? I think one purpose is to open our minds. Consider mine open. Ciao ya'll, until next time.
Sincerely,
the grouch
