10/16/2026
π¬ SCENE 1 β THE WIN
I won two tickets on the radio. FREE tickets. Front mezzanine.
I'm screaming in the car. My wife is screaming.
π¬ SCENE 2 β THE EMAIL
"Claim your prize!" The link opens a checkout page.
Ticket price: $0.00.
Service fee: $38. Facility charge: $22. "Digital delivery": $14. "Prize processing": $12.
Total due: $86.00.
π¬ SCENE 3 β THE FINE PRINT
I call the station. "They're free tickets," I say.
"They are free!" the DJ laughs. "The fees aren't ours, man. That's the venue."
I paid $86 for free tickets and told everyone at work I won them.
βIf winning costs $86, what exactly did I win?