01/02/2019
Attachment #2:
“A Day N A Lie Brotherhood”
Artist: Joseph J. Millhouse II
Size: 12”x15”
Medium:
Carson Pure White Drawing Art Board
Prismacolor Softcore Colored Pencils
Speedball Pigmented Acrylic Ink- Super Black
Price:
Details:
Annually I allow myself to draw one picture that represents my definition of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Each individual has their own story or definition for their own struggles in dealing with this issue. This is mine.
I am asked on regular basis,
“What is it like to have PTSD?”
Attempting to explain this to anyone verbally is impossible for me to do, so I do it through my art; allowing myself one drawing a year on the subject matter allows me to vent but does not allow me to let PTSD to take over again.
First thing that comes to mind is utter chaos, which is the interpretation I am attempting to show. Everything about PTSD in my head is chaos, as if someone is showing me snap shots of things I have been through or have done as a Houston Firefighter.
The blue lettering, “Welcome”, even though really the only words readable is “We” and “me”. “We” represents my family supporting me through it all as I have dealt with this internal battle. “me” because at times I feel as if I am the only one in the world that is going through the things I have. The word “Welcome” with the “Ticket to Somewhere” is how I am saying,
“Here is your ticket to the S**t Show…”
Centered is the screaming skull with “Ghosts” floating or flying around it; in the screaming mouth a guy covering his face with bloody hands, eight fingers, and duct tape over his mouth.
This guy is me, having two fingers amputated while performing a rescue while on duty. The bloody hands represent all the blood that have been on them and the things that haunt me to this day. The duct tape over my mouth to symbolize not being allowed to speak of my problems with the fire department; due to PTSD being more taboo than having s*x with your own sister.
The “Exit Sign”, a sign many firefighters see on a daily basis while doing their job, pointing in the direction of safety. The word “NO” directly behind the sign means there is no real way out of it.
The light switch turned off, represents my emotions. The hand appearing to “snap” with the caption, “Snap out of it” and the “& Life goes on”; this is the attitude I feel many in the fire service have on the subject of PTSD, from Chiefs to Firefighters.
The skull tearing through the teal/aqua colored paper is “PTSD” and the choice of color, teal, is actually the color that represents the Fight Against PTSD (like the color Pink for Breast Cancer).
The grey and red words, which was my radio call sign while in the Fire Department, “RTeNCHARLIE” (Rescue 10 Charlie).
“The Warrior” with a falling angel in my eyes is a symbol of a “Hero, no longer able to be a hero.”
Throughout the drawing, I have drawn several different dark, demon like eyes. The reason for this is because I am haunted by the eyes of those I was unable to save during my career.
The beautiful woman represents my wife, and the torn, clawed paper that goes through her face shows the pain and suffering she has dealt with. Not only does PTSD effect the individual but it also effects the individual’s family members. The teal color flower in her hair, again the color the represents the fight against PTSD.
Along with “RTeNCHARLIE” the other combined red and grey word in the drawing is “MAYDAY” and in the mouth of the screaming skull in red is, “BROTHERHOOD” written upside down.
“May-Day” like a fighter pilot, this phrase is the words firefighters are trained to say when they need help at a fire because they're in danger.
“Brotherhood”, like a flag flying upside down is the symbol of distress. Brotherhood in the fire service is nonexistent, though civilians believe that is what the fire service is all about.
All the letters in red in the words, “MAYDAY”, “RTeNCHARLIE” and ‘BROTHERHOOD” is how I felt while in the fire service, not only speaking in code but also as the title of this drawing says, “A Day N A Lie Brotherhood.”
