The Football Poet

The Football Poet I have been in a fight with addiction for over 30 years. These poems are for those who can relate.

03/13/2026

I lost one of my closest friends a few weeks ago. He was absolutely the strongest, and toughest man I've ever known. His demons were tough. He fought them as only a beast of a man could. In the end, he couldn't fight anymore. God called him to heaven to give him peace, and understanding that he can now claim victory. This is what I wrote as I sat and thought. This isn't about my friend. It's about the struggle with both shared. His struggles are over. Mine are not. In passing he taught that no matter how strong, physically you are, that you need help. That no way can anyone who suffers from the disease of addiction can beat it by themselves. Im very hardheaded and have tried to prove this theory wrong, most of my life. I just said goodbye to the bigger bear.. So no way can I do this alone. Ill miss my friend

Stuck In Lavender

Walking on a tightrope,
A slip is instant death.
Recovery ofers a balance bar,
Steps now taken on faith.

Life always running in circles,
Knocking me to my knees.
Wearing a permanent blindfold,
Can’t see the forest for the trees.

Went down kicking and screaming,
To the bitter ends.
A revolving door to nowhere,
No favors left to lend.

Days spent dodging trip wires,
Mindfields of co***ne.
Placed in my path by a demon,
A clear view impossible to obtain.

Peeking out of insanity,
Looking for means of escape.
Change is an impossible dream.
Never learning how to cope
Avoidance has been perfected,
Playing dodgeball with my pain.
Surfing the emotional fallout,
Days to years of the exact same thing.

Life is not always sunshine and butterflies,
Living life on life's terms.
Tiptoe through the tulips,
I can't the pain still burns.

A journey to my calling,
Playing the tape all the way through.
Step working to a plan of action,
1 through 12 is what we do.

Content, is a curse word,
A vocabulary of negativity.
Letting go and let God,
Only path to serenity.

Doing the next right,
Baby steps my biggest key.
Puzzle pieces of recovery,
Snap together to set me free.

The Football Poet,
T.

Today marks a accomplishment that I had to work hard to obtain. Just a few months ago it was unobtainable, if not imposs...
05/24/2025

Today marks a accomplishment that I had to work hard to obtain. Just a few months ago it was unobtainable, if not impossible. I wrote this today. It also marks the return of a small nugget of pride in my life. Not the ego driven, self centered pride. The pride that comes with work, and surrender to obtain. I'll take that today.
Here is a little 60 day report card, compliments of The Football Poet.

60 Days to Green Means Go..

Reached a new milestone,
60 Days since I walked away.
Continued surrender and acceptance,
What will allow me to stay.

Going slow as fast as I can,
Baby steps get me to step one.
Going in circles is now straight lines,
1 through 12 is how it is done.

Asked a sponsor to guide me,
He always answers the phone.
Working knowledge of the steps,
No longer stepping alone.

Getting lost to find myself,
Feet planted in a new way.
Sometimes it happens slowly,
All I've got is today.

Suggestions bounced off a hard head,
Stuck in stubborn finally got old.
New meetings and step work,
Following directions, doing as I'm told.

Looking forward to this journey,
No more Running into walls.
When life presents a problem,
Pick up the phone and call.

The Football Poet,
T.

A little piece of my journey this morning. I do this for those who can relate with the struggle, the pain, the lost and...
05/19/2025

A little piece of my journey this morning. I do this for those who can relate with the struggle, the pain, the lost and alone feelings that walk hand in hand with addiction. These poems are from deep inside me. It's helps me to see how addiction has raked me across hot coals for too many years.
Let me know what ya think....

STUCK IN LAVENDER

Walking on a tightrope,
A slip is instant death.
Recovery offers a balance bar,
Steps now taken on faith.

Life always running in circles,
Knocking me to my knees.
Wearing a permanent blindfold,
Can't see the forest for the trees.

Went down kicking and screaming,
To the bitter ends.
A revolving door to nowhere,
No favors left to lend.

Days spent dodging trip wires,
Minefields full of co***ne.
Placed in my path by a demon
A clear view impossible to obtain.

Peeking out of insanity,
Looking for means of escape.
Change is an impossible dream,
Never learning how to cope.

Avoidance has been perfected
Playing dodgeball with my pain,
Surfing the emotional fallout,
Days to years of the exact same thing.

Life is not always sunshine and butterflies,
Living life on life's terms.
Tip toe through the tulips,
I can't the pain still burns.

A journey to my calling,
Playing the tape all the way through.
Step working to a plan of action,
1 through 12 is what we do.
Complacency is a curse word,
A vocabulary of negativity.
Letting go and let God
Only path to Serenity.

Doing the next right thing,
Small steps my biggest key.
Puzzle pieces of recovery,
Snap together to set me free!

The Football Poet,
T.

Sitting here in Asheville doing some writing about relapse and recovery for my sponsor. Doing this type of writing takes...
05/17/2025

Sitting here in Asheville doing some writing about relapse and recovery for my sponsor. Doing this type of writing takes me to a place in my mind that my disease still has a hold of. To those who don't suffer from addiction won't understand. I hope that those of you who don't will show compassion and patience to those who will. I struggle with relapse. It's is definitely a part of my journey. Bit it doesn't have to be a part of anyone else's.
It's very difficult for me to surrender to anything, and ask for help. My EGO, along with being self centered, and probably the most hard headed man to ever walk this planet, made a perfect storm for my addiction to manifest itself into every aspect of my life.
In saying all this, I hope it's shows how the progression of addiction kills so many.
Today, I'm putting down on paper, for me to see how becoming complacent and letting ANYTHING come before my recovery means I lose before I really ever get started. Today,I'm trying to learn from those mistakes. Today I am clean, and thinking with a clear mind and conscious. Today I get out of my own way and surrender on a daily basis. I can't beat this without help. Those who know me, know how hard that is for me to say. I tried guys and I never came close by myself. I've picked myself up again and have made a few good decisions. My recovery will stay in Asheville. I won't be coming back to Gastonia.
That in itself is a victory to me. I will try to stay out of my own way and let God lead. Another uncomfortable spot for me. But today it works. I also need the help of others, in the rooms of recovery and those of you here that will continue to pull for me. I have said a lot. Today is a wonderful day. 50 days ago wonderful wasn't an option.

Trey

05/12/2025

Good morning guys. I'm in Nicholasville, Kentucky. Waiting on my boss to purchase a truck.
I will try to put a poem on here later. I just wanted to share a little bit about some of the work my sponsor and I have been doing. I had to write the definitions of the words associated with the NA symbol. Then what those words meant to me. I understood the book definitions, but once I started to write on paper what these words meant to me, the game changed. Words such as Self, God, Service, Good will, Freedom. It didn't take long to see how lost and disconnected I had become. I can't even to begin to describe Freedom. I have been handcuffed to addiction and the lifestyle that goes along with it for so long that any sense of the word Freedom didn't exist. Self was another word that existed on some sort of sub human level that only thrived on dishonesty and manipulation. Which immediately took away any ability to be of service without expectations, and good will was the same. How could I show good will towards others when all I was really worried about was what they could do for me. How my life could benefit. All that mattered Another word was Society, which I have hidden from for 30 years. Only poking my head out when I felt someone needed to pat me on the back for acting right 2 days in a row. God was as difficult as the rest. My selfish, self centered behavior and lifestyle had my EGO inflated so big, that is was impossible to tell where it ended and God began.
I know I have said a lot. Heck, as I have to be truly honest today. I have lived the past 30 years by one definition only..Insanity.
Today, I'm trying to change those definitions. Redefining myself worthy of a look in the mirror. Sharing a smile with myself, along with a little flicker of pride. The ability to tell the truth, and last but definitely not the least the strength and courage to get out of my own way and let God do his thing. Which gives me a small foundation of faith to stand on instead of a life in quicksand.
Hope this makes sense.!!

05/11/2025

Good morning guys. I have started a new page for anything recovery related. I'm a novice at doing anything like this, so I hope you will all be patient as I give this a go. I will try to post some poetry about my struggles and how I can't do this alone. Also welcome any stories or thoughts that others my share also.
Putting some of my pain on paper seems to help me get through it. Guilt and shame are like my own personal tidal wave I have created. Each poem seems to keep me out front of it.
My recovery is like a puzzle. Each piece must fit for me to live in recovery one day at a time. Meetings, step work, sponsor, spiritually, mental health, physical health, are just some of the pieces that have to fit together to accomplish ONE day clean for me. But that puzzle will fall to the floor and bust at the end of every day. The pieces will remain the same, but there size and shape won't. So the puzzle has to be put back together correctly, but different each day for me to be happy, joyess, and free.
I hope all that makes sense.
So let's see how this goes!

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Gastonia, NC
28054

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