10/05/2026
October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month ~ 9 years ago I left my abuser, but the scars will last a lifetime.
TW; Long post ahead:
This is a hard topic for me to touch on. When I was 17 I was in a very bad place. I met a boy who gave me more attention than I had ever received from anyone else. I immediately fell for him.
During the first year of dating, there were some major red flags but I was too inexperienced to understand what was to come. He was my first relationship.
The first time he str@ngled me, it was in my childhood bedroom. He cried and told me he would never do it again. I believed him.
Over the year's it would just progressively get worse. He would threaten me, my family, or himself with violence anytime I tried or told him I was leaving. He be@t me and hit me, he told me I was useless, a piece of sh*t, and so many other horrible things. My self confidence reduced to zero. I felt like it was my fault. If I just changed myself again and again, eventually the abuse would stop, right?
Wrong.
No matter what I did, it didn't matter. I thought I could fix him, or change him. I thought it was all my fault all the time. My parents tried to help but I kept pushing them away because I was so scared for my life and theirs. He would call hundreds and hundreds of times, taunting me and my family; Threatening us to the point we had to disconnect our phone lines.
In September of 2017 he almost k!lled me. He punched me repeatedly in the head until I almost blacked out. I was bleeding from my mouth and screaming for help. His parents were in the next room and didn't even care. I finally had the strength to leave a week or so later, after he was almost 302'ed by the hospital.
In December of that year I finally broke it off for good but I still fear him to this day. He has tried to contact me multiple times throughout the years, with the latest one being January of 2025.
My life has significantly improved since I left. I often wonder if I'd even be here if I hadn't left when I did. All the slides above are real things people have said to me after I left. I've been shamed for not leaving sooner, but leaving is the hardest part.
If you need help or are suffering yourself, please do not be afraid to find help. 9 years later and I'm in a very loving relationship with my now boyfriend, Seth. He has truly showed me what a normal, healthy relationship should look like and I am eternally grateful for him. 💜