07/31/2026
23 years, losing him is like i lost my brother, like my brother lost me and i'm still f**ked up about it. Like my little brother, he and I were inseparable, now all I see is a waxed and yellowed and bruised mask of what his face used to be. A holloween costume playing on his never seen or known potential. Empty of its life, its brightness and its worth. Im still so angry with him and thats the worst part. The anger of grief, f**k, two plus decades of anger. It's bled into every facet of my life in the form of impatience amd irritation and im done. I dont want to be angry anymore, I dont want to bark at anyone as a tesult of that anger. Hes gone, why cant I get over my anger at his selfish ass choice? F**k I've been so mad at him for taking away from all of us, f**k him! But I still love him, he'll always be my brother from another mother. I wish he'd have known the devastation of what his choices caused. The endless questions, heartache and the immense anger each and all of us have been facing this long time. F**k I hate him and I love him, I live for Steven.
