08/22/2026
Football season is approaching and I have a confession to make. I am an Alabama fan/graduate and I do not hate Auburn. Or Tennessee. I actually do not hate any team.
Before you make any assumptions about me, let me assure you that I do indeed understand rivalry and I do love sports. I was born in North Carolina and my dad graduated from UNC, Chapel Hill. I went to Vestavia Hills High School during Hoover’s “Two A Days” Era, so I lived the cross-town rivalry story, too.
I have loved sports all my life. When I was in 2nd grade I could recite the Braves’ starting lineup along with each player’s stats. In college I could tell you how many yards per game Mark Ingram averaged, how many catches Julio Jones had in a particular season, and exactly where I was in Bryant Denny Stadium when Terrance Cody blocked Tennessee’s field goal to win the 2009 game. I know that rivalry is real in the sports world, but the bitterness that comes with it makes my stomach churn.
When my family moved to Birmingham, I was 12 years old. I loved sports but we came from North Carolina where basketball rules. So, the first time I was asked, “Do you go for Alabama or Auburn?” I responded with, “What’s an Auburn?” I’m pretty sure that kid never spoke to me again. After that, I started answering with, “I like North Carolina,” and let me tell you, that did not go over well either! I literally felt like if I did not choose a side, I would never make any friends.
Perhaps this was the beginning of my true life as an introvert. I could not understand why my team of choice should have such a great impact on who I could be friends with. But, there truly were kids who did not want to spend time with me if we did not pull for the same team.
Why do we do this to our children? Because, make no mistake, we ARE the ones who put these ideas in their heads. Every time we make a comment about “that other team’s” fans, we are telling our children how they should view their peers. Don’t believe me? Maybe you should talk to the 10 year old who informed me that I “must be stupid” because I went to Alabama. I wonder where he could have possibly learned that?
I am sure that by now, no matter which team you pull for, you are ready to write me off completely. But, please, give me a little more of your time. I do believe there is a place for rivalry in sports. I think that healthy competition is a good thing. I think extra motivation for players is great! But, there is a way we can handle it as fans that will have a more positive influence on our children.
1. Go big for your team! Dress up, cheer, wave your shaker, sing the fight song! Build your team up! And guess what? You don’t have to tear down another team to do so.
2. Be a good sport. When you win, be respectful, and when you lose, accept it and move on. Is it okay to want to win? Of course! But, no one can win every game, and it is important that our children understand that. Sidenote: When you blame a loss on officiating, coaching, or cheating speculations, you are teaching your children to do the same when they lose a game.
3. Avoid generalizations. If I had a nickel for every time I have heard, “I thought you wanted to get an education” when I tell people where I went to college, I would be a very rich woman! I will be the first to admit that there are some super obnoxious Alabama fans out there. But I have also encountered equally obnoxious fans from Auburn, Florida, Tennessee, and — oh wait, I don’t have enough space to list the other 124 schools in the FBS.
4. Don’t force your team on your children. Absolutely include your children when you are enjoying a game! But, do not become so invested in your child’s fandom that you become devastated when they do not choose your team. I love musicals, but I have no intention of forcing that love on my children. Likewise, I will not force the Tide upon them.
I have always disliked the negative aspects of sports rivalries, but I am much more aware of my attitude now that I have little people watching my every move. My desire is for sports to be something fun we enjoy as a family, not a point of division or bitterness.
You can read more from Rebekah's post "Football and Life :: Surviving Rivalry" and this link: https://birminghammomcollective.com/parenting-perspectives/football-life-surviving-rivalry/
