Lord Smash-A lot

Lord Smash-A lot 🐢 Lord Smash A Lot 🐢
Rescued from a Mississippi highway (long story), now living the spoiled life with my humans. Follow my slow-motion chaos & adventures!

Still learning not to smash trash cans, headbutt walls, and destroy everything in sight.

09/02/2026

!!!! Volume up and listen!!!!

Smash hates the new camera

09/01/2026

Added a camera to Smash’s hole and got this cool shot!

Sunday morning face
08/30/2026

Sunday morning face

08/27/2026

I’m just saying… normal tortoises don’t move their heads like they’re trying to shake a demon out of their skull.

Somebody get the holy water…

゚viralシ

08/17/2026

Had to put the camera down in Smash’s new layer…

SMASH FACT!

Sulcata tortoises dig to escape extreme heat and cold, regulate body temperature, stay hydrated, and even lay eggs.

Native to Africa’s hot, arid Sahel region, digging is a natural survival instinct that’s hard-wired into them.

08/14/2026

Lord Smash-A-Lot has officially been caught on camera showing off his… credentials.

For all those wondering… YES, Smash is definitely a boy! 🤣

Smash’s construction update: Measured his new tunnel today… 8 FEET 9 INCHES from the entrance to the back, going straigh...
08/12/2026

Smash’s construction update:

Measured his new tunnel today… 8 FEET 9 INCHES from the entrance to the back, going straight down at an angle.

Dude has been GETTING IT. At this point, he’s not digging a hole, he’s building an underground bunker.

08/07/2026

Smash vs. Cactus

Smash fun facts: Sulcata tortoises can eat certain cactus plants, especially spineless prickly pear, and it’s a great way for them to get some extra hydration!

Of course, Smash doesn’t know any of that. He just knows I put a plant in front of him and therefore it must be destroyed and eaten immediately.

Me opening it today, fully expecting to see something funny… only to find Smash being lazy and refusing to come out beca...
07/30/2026

Me opening it today, fully expecting to see something funny… only to find Smash being lazy and refusing to come out because it’s too hot.

Lord Smash-A-Lot is growing way faster than I ever imagined. Every week he seems a little taller, a little wider, and de...
07/25/2026

Lord Smash-A-Lot is growing way faster than I ever imagined. Every week he seems a little taller, a little wider, and definitely a little hungrier. I’d say he’s happy, healthy, and getting HUGE! It’s been awesome watching him grow into the tank he is becoming.

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Biloxi, MS

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