05/05/2026
The Convo
(Title dedication to Earl Simmons AKA DMX - RIP)
By: Thomas Walk
I sat down heavy and decided to pray,
I just started with hey God how you doing today?
It felt silly talking to someone I don’t know is there,
But in end it feels good to let your words get some air.
I was feeling a little down and out,
Like I do tend to do,
And I just kind of opened the spout,
And let my feelings like water flow through.
I said I don’t understand why I’ve had to go through,
All these things that I’ve had to go through,
And I’m angry at you and I’m angry at me,
Cause you gave me the choices but I fumbled them, see.
I don’t know what I am doing with myself,
I’m getting applause for what I do for myself,
All this writing I sit and I scratch,
It seems to help others let go and detach,
Maybe that’s why you put me through all of this,
Maybe just maybe it’s all led to this.
In the back of my mind I heard a faint whisper,
The voice of a friend heard before,
It was pleasant and polite and made me feel I could relax,
And somehow it embraced me and stopped me in my tracks.
That beautiful voice said unto me,
You are exactly what you were made to be.
I have tested and tried so many like you,
And to all our dismay so many chose not to work through,
The pain and the torment to see the real lesson,
That until you learn it just keeps you guessin’.
Take your credit, accept your rewards,
That’s what I have given you your talent for,
Climb to the top and you’ll be a beacon,
To everyone that’s down looking up just seekin’,
The answers you fought and went through hell for,
And look at you now you can open the door.
I said holy s**t!
Surprised by the answer,
I think God chuckled,
‘Cause he got what he asked for.
I said first off I’m sorry that I responded like that,
I guess I didn’t expect an actual response back,
I hear what you’re saying and I do understand,
But I feel like there’s got to be a better way man,
I mean I’ve lost some friends to all of this,
And I just feel like I’d be remiss,
If in the end they were just pawns on your chessboard,
My faith would be redacted and my words would become a sword,
That I would use to cut you down,
In the memory of my friends lost without a sound.
The voice responded to me like so,
It’s okay to be angry son see I know,
How hard the task was that I gave you.
No one I’ve created is ever a pawn,
They have free will to rely on,
There are many paths that one could walk,
But there is only one I meant you to walk,
The others are there solely for your selection,
You can travel any one just pick any old direction.
See, I gave you the tools and I gave you your talent,
But you applied the experiences that they needed to ferment,
And now your talent is a rare, fine w**e,
That you can share with others throughout your whole lifetime.
I sat in silence for what seemed like forever,
The point made could be argued never,
Cause if I hadn’t been hardened into steel,
My work would never reflect anything real,
And I realized then that my pain and sorrow,
Were only mine for a while to borrow.
So I said back to him I think that I get it,
Maybe I’m still a little salty but just let it,
Rest in my mind for my consideration,
When it’s a day not overshadowed by my own precipitation,
When the sun comes out it’ll grant me new perspective,
When the sun comes out I’ll be far more receptive,
‘Cause I hear what you’re saying and I appreciate you,
I see that the words that you speak are true,
I know that my tools were that pain and sorrow,
And I understand my talent more with every new tomorrow,
But those lessons you gave with the intent to teach me,
They clutter my mind until it’s hard to reach me,
And I am truly grateful for every single blessing,
But can I just get to the point where I’m not stressing?
I couldn’t believe it as he responded again,
I knew then that this had been my journey since before my time began,
He said my son you’ll find peace that will come with your old age,
But you need those tools still to climb up onto that big stage,
See you’re right about those things not belonging to you,
But you can’t give them up until you’re done with what you do.
I know that it’s hard,
To let down your guard,
Son, I put you through hell right here on earth,
And you grew it inside you until you could birth,
This miracle that you were creating,
And I’m proud of you because you’re captivating.
There have been others that walked tall like you,
But you are so unique in the way you do what you do,
And hey, if you won’t believe in me I will keep believing in you,
Cause I cannot wait to see what else it is you do.
I wiped the tears from my eyes,
There was no way to disguise,
No matter how you tell it the truth is the truth,
It’s simple to accept and you don’t have to be a sleuth,
The answers are often like the tears we wipe from our eyes,
Something we’re ashamed of that we just want to disguise.
I felt God exit parallel to my revelation,
So I wrote all of this down without hesitation.
Look at me like I’m crazy if you can’t get into believing,
But a little bit of faith never stopped anyone from succeeding.
My free will gives me the option to hate him,
But I choose simply to conversate him,
See, talking to God is the same as talking to yourself,
If the case is, you’re being honest with yourself,
Cause the revelation within the power of believing,
Is that there is something more in the tapestry we’re weaving,
I had to come to terms with a lot of hard facts,
I had to forgive myself of a lot of selfish acts,
And after that I found faith in myself inside,
And that faith subconsciously became my guide,
To opening up to the possibility,
That something out there greater than me,
Not only created me,
But gave me this ability,
For me to be right here for you to see,
That I have become,
Exactly what I was made to be.
Remember everyone, our possibilities are infinite!
