12/07/2025
One for you and one for them?! F**k you.
My dog Harley is an all or nothing as***le.
He thinks everything is for him.
I thought I had solved the problem.
But he is the problem.
I got two teddy bears yesterday, one for Harley, and one for my nephew Brendan.
I put the other teddy bear in the hall closet, to wait for Christmas.
This fu***ng as***le decides he wants both.
He catches me later on pulling something out of that same closet, a jacket I was going to give to Goodwill.
He sees his opportunity, and he seizes it.
He leaves his teddy bear momentarily to run in there and grab Brendan's Christmas teddy bear.
He wants both.
F**k Brendan and f**k Christmas and f**k me for trying to do the whole ‘one for you and one for them’ thing.
I rush after the teddy bear but it's already too late.
This motherf**ker, this little Chihuahua mix dick, he tears up Brendan's teddy bear immediately, as fast as he can.
He's running the whole time, running away from me.
I trip and fall, and he goes under the couch with it.
I'm holding my ankle, I've actually hurt it.
A sprain or something.
F**k this, I have to put ice on it.
Meanwhile, he has finished completely destroying Brendan's teddy bear.
I'm in the kitchen holding ice on my ankle, sitting in my scuffed dining room chair.
He comes in there with his teddy bear, the only one that's not in pieces.
This furry as***le makes a point, a deliberate point to place that teddy bear at my feet, knowing that I am incapacitated for the moment.
He looks me in my eyes and humps the bear to completion, and I swear to God, he goes and puts it in the hall closet.
Brendan can have that one.
Brendan can have a dog cm stained teddy bear for Christmas.
Daddy knows what he did bringing something in this house that doesn't belong also to me.
I will kill it or f**k it.
One for you and one for them?!
F**k you.
Did I mention my dog was an as***le?
