05/02/2026
Selfish
Hey mama,
Remember that lesson you taught me about being selfish
Well, it's out the window, because I want you here,
Not out of loneliness, but kinda out of fear
Your presence brought security and confidence to my soul
Now, I am reverting to when I was lost in the mall at 5 years old
Losing the grip of your hand amongst a crowd
Panicking, I screamed out loud,
"Mommy, where are you?"
Then, I was found,
But now, I am lost
God, I trust your intentions, but at what cost?
Her confidence was contagious
At times, her attitude was outrageous
She was my best friend; I thought she had all the answers
The brightness of her smile was dimmed by cancer
I know that now she is pain-free,
But what about me?
It seems that this is a permanent sting
You know, this death thing
I am still hurting.
My inner thoughts are taking over my fingers and spilling onto this page
My heart and everything warm inside me are bursting with rage
But, to keep me from going through a great explosion
I give my troubles to GOD through Holy Devotions
Lord, I know that my mom was only on loan
And that her departure, you could not postpone
And that by taking her now, she is out of pain
And that I should probably stay in my lane
But what am I supposed to do now?
Grief is so hard to understand
And I pray that you lend me your hand
So that we can walk together along this heavy road
Because I know that you will not
Put more on me than I can hold
Amen?
That was supposed to make me feel better
But I am still hurting,
It is a process; I am an example in its prime
But I do know that time heals all, and GOD is time
~Poetic Silk
