Joshua Thomas Lawton Poetry

Joshua Thomas Lawton Poetry My poems are very dear to me. I hope you like them as much as the feeling I had when writing them.

05/30/2026

Tonight’s offering, trying to write at least one poem per day:

“Periwinkle Blue”

You offered trepanation,
But it gave me a headache
So I opted for phrenology.
All the ballyhoo and gobbledygook
About how to quiet the mind
Has me whirling like a propeller.

I was cantankerous from the outset,
You were wearing periwinkle blue.

In my moribund state, your summer dress was enough to
Silence all the ear worms
And critiques-

Albeit momentarily.

I was a bedraggled, befuddled
Curmudgeon, living quietly
On carbonated beverages
And unripened fruits before you arrived,
But not so self deflated
As to chew off my own face-
Yet.

I wasn’t quite irascible just then,
But when you put taps on my shoes
While I was sleeping so you could hear My comings and goings-

A jumble of incoming information
Pushed me ever closer to
An affective liability.

All the quackery in the world
Couldn’t sway my dysregulation,
So I tried little tablets, I dabbled in
Diaphragmatic exhalations, the diversion Of putting tender, green sprigs into
Terra cotta pots, but
Still finding rat-maze corners
In water closets and in the
Proximity of credenzas.

I never could anthropomorphize
Vintage furniture.

I tried a soothing tea, Kentucky Bourbon, Bulgogi, haiku, handball,
Support groups, modeling clay,
And cutting undesirable faces
Out of aged, blurry photos.

No dice.

But in the moment of my ultimate Calamity, (the one during which
I saw almost nothing)

I somehow pulled back like the taught Physics of a bowstring,
Finding a teetering tensility of my own
By which to continue.

Maybe I exist in a fixed state.
Maybe I’m more than just static
And have real opportunities
To deflect what might be
A geneticist’s wet dream.

I could be a field study,
I could be a dissertation.
I could be an expendable
Asset of cults or even
A guest speaker on the topic of
Every-which-way.

Maybe the night sky
Had something to offer.
Maybe the smell of
Cooking meats,
Firecrackers, diesel fuel,
And night-blooming jasmine
Were enough to
Right the ship. Or-

Maybe the
Hole in my skull
Was actually working
After all.

05/29/2026

This one popped out late last night.

“Shiraz”

It was a bad contract.
A spattering of inconsistency,
A smile like cracked glass,
Claws of the behemoth.
I am easily transfixed.
I owe a tax to the
Shadow King,
And he awaits.
That’s why I wanted
To see you,
In your floundering commitment,
In last night’s clothes,
Still wafting Shiraz,
Congested, and
Humming a melody
As hopeful as a
Pile of wax
Instead of a candle.

We all have to come to terms with
With something.

Maybe it’s a stuck door,
A failing gasket,
The brutality of emotion.

I paid in full
And I want a functional product.
One that makes me
Happy as an advert,
Pulsing like a jellyfish,
Sliding in rayon, and
Deciding to go bowling.
I am bequeathed
A truncated valve, I’m
Forgetting about baseball, I’m
Fixating on
The pattern of childhood tablecloths.
It’s RPM’s like a record,
It’s scant positive memories,
It’s feeling naked everywhere you go.

I’ve always wanted electrocution,
Or some jazz, or an op**te.
I’ve always looked sideways
At thieves,
Memorized sidewalks,
Learned to breathe when there
Was someone behind me,
Tried to purchase selectively.
Stay vigilant among crowds,
Be cautiously optimistic among cowards, Avoid impetuous optimists or the
Recklessly romantic.
Swing low, barrel forward,
Tie and untie knots.
Behold a vigorous fount,
Breathe before unwavering cliffs,
Invite rapturous entanglements,
Clandestine revivals, and
Fall to the ground over
The rigorous geometry
Of birds.

It was a bad contract,
But amongst a
Litany of rules I set for myself,
I stuck to every word
As if the paper
Were my skin.

05/27/2026

Her arms, wings around me,
Her fingers, talons
In my back-
This is the dream
Of birds I have.

05/24/2026

I seldom write love poems. Lately I’ve been working on things out of my wheelhouse.

“Fall”

I loved you
The way autumn
Loves the leaves.
Bright, spectacular,
Falling quickly.
Like the days were
Getting shorter,
Like time seemed
Illusory.
I loved you
The way autumn
Loves wind-
Cold into the
Bones, breath
You could see but
Not hear.
I loved you
Like autumn
Loves the harvest-
Picking up the
Last of things,
Storing them away,
Watching fields grow
Empty.
But loving what
Came next
Was exceptionally
Lonely, because
Winter wasn’t
Made for just
One person.
By the time
Trees cast off
Their last browned
Leaves, and all
The world was barren-

You were gone.

05/24/2026

“Ambivalence”

You were ambivalent
Towards entropy
And I could tell
By the way you
Flipped your hair.

You were a
Chaos ginger
And everyone had
To look at you.

You thought it would
Be forever,

As if nothing decayed
Over time,
As if this
Barroom would never disappear
And no one would ever
Stop looking.

You said you hated it, but
I knew it wasn’t true.
You relished in the
Attention.

You were ambivalent
Towards entropy
So there were
No crows feet and
No bingo wings,
Like you wouldn’t
Dissolve.

Like things wouldn’t
Get muddled.

Like the
Gentle decay of time
Was discerning
And biased
And wouldn’t
Choose you.

You gloated over
Your ambivalence
As if a badge
Like things
Wouldn’t get out of hand.
They did.

Nights became
Confusing,
People changed,
Rooms changed,
Priorities,

But your resistance
Only magnified
The truth about
Moving
Ever outwards.

A chaos ginger
Who everyone
Had to look at,
Frozen in time
And not caring
If it existed or not-

And somehow
I think I might
Have loved you.

05/22/2026

“My child”

When thinking of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,
I go to the past.

I feel the plagues and wars
Ripple through the veil
And know that they
Will be just fine.

Water and time
Are the only great
Destroyers,
Not the machinations of
Humankind.

When I think of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,
I am with Atlas.

Through the smoke
And crumbled structures,
The bravado of those with power,
Humans bought and sold,
Mountain and ravine defiled,
I look to the vast and irrefutable
Magnificence of water and time.
These are the only things
That truly erase the
Footprints across the earth.

When thinking of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,
I go to the past.

I take her small hand in mine,
And say, “this is Starry Night,
Look at the brush strokes”,
As we stand before it in its
Little, crowded room,
I know her wondering eye
Sees a great monument
Of grace.

I ask her to open her ears,
I hold her gently,
And say, “this is Ziggy Stardust,
And it changed the world”.
And I know her bent head
Absorbs the vibrations
Of beauty.

I board her upon a ferry,
And say, “look out across the
Upper New York bay, and see the
Green lady with her arm to the sky”.
And I know she ponders freedom.

When thinking of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,
I go to the past.

I take out a photograph and say,
“This is your great grandmother, almost
One hundred years ago. Her people came from across the sea to look upon the lady in hopes to be free”,
And I know she feels what runs through
Her veins.

I take her to where I was born,
Into the house where I myself was a child,
And show her my old room, the tree from which I swung, and the woods through which I tromped. I point out the old pilgrim wells and stone walls and wild grapes and say,
“There were people who lived her long before these ancient structures. They’ve been gone for many hundreds of years”,
And I know she feels the ghost dance within her, and the whispers of movement
Through the leaves of white birch.

When thinking of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,
I go to the past.

I read softly “whose woods these are
I think I know,” and I see her face
Momentarily puzzled, scrunched nose,
Trying to find the image, and I know she does.

I tell her of the triumphs of Gandhi,
The struggles of Doctor King,
The suffragettes and their purpose,
Of Jackie Robinson, Rosa Parks,
Anne Frank, Joan of Arc, Woodie Guthrie,
And I know she understands the glory
Of those destined to propel us forward.
I tell her, “if you want, if you try,
You can be just like them.”
And I know she feels that she can.

When thinking of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,
I go to the past.

I think of a tiny beating heart,
Bursting with wonder, full of
Empathy, desire, curiosity,
Goodness, purity, compassion,
And intellect beyond my understanding.

I see eyes that drink in everything
That moves, all that has come and gone,
Vast potentialities, simplification
Of all that confounds us,

And I know, in that very pure and sacred
Place of knowing, the center of me, where
All my fingers trace lines across
History, that by seeing, and hearing,
And looking, and intrinsic understanding-

That only water and time
Are the great destroyers,
That she can do anything.

She can hold up the world,
And bear it’s weight,
And do so with grace,
And do so for peace,
And do so for beauty,
And do so for song,
For a phrase,
For a smile,
With a tiny yet unbelievably vast
And complicated mind,
One that teems with knowing
And the desire to continue to know,
And I don’t have to think of the past,
Because she has it all
Inside of her.

I can look ahead,
And know that she can, if she chooses,
Topple the buttress of greed,
And fight with all her strength,
And love so fiercely that leaders,
Con men, thieves,
And war-makers, will quake
Before her teeming desire
For goodness and righteousness,
For love;
For so much love,
So much profound and
Unstoppable love,
So much inquisitive,
Tender love;

A new kind of love,
One that she herself makes manifest,
Birthed inside her neurons,
Bequeathed by an unending line
Across the breadth and width
Of all that exists, deep within her bones,
Mapped by all who came before,
Held by all she can become,
A love that has no name because
She has yet to give it one.

When thinking of the world
That the little ones will have to
Hold up and bear its weight,

I go to the future, to imagine her
As a woman, wrinkled and wise,
Who remembers Starry Night,
And Ziggy Stardust, and the journey
Of heroes who lived and died
For their own kind of love,
And that, at one time, theirs was
A love that had no name
Because it had yet to be formed.

I go to the future, where her love
Is wrath against all that is dark
And threatening, where her love
Counts itself amongst the ranks
Of greatness, where her humility
Creates a juggernaut of change,
Where her wisdom is held in permanence,
Her kindness is held boundless,
Her ferocity exudes righteousness,
And I know in my deepest
Places of knowing,

That she can hold up the world,
And bear it’s weight, and bring to it
A lightness, a sweetness,
And all those who stand with her
Who were once all those little ones,
They will have the might, and the insight,
And the love-

To hold this world until
Water and time
Have made their choice.

05/22/2026

“White Birch”

I obsess about
My memories
Of white birch.
Delicate, paper-like
Bark
Illuminating
The darkest forest,
Emulating moonlight
When the moon
Herself was
New.

They don’t grow here,
Where I live now,
But in the
Dense wood of
My youth
They were a
Beacon in the
Dark, and
I carry their secret
Wherever I go.

I could see everything
In the pitch black
Night-
The fiddlehead ferns,
Skunk cabbage
And owls, the fractured
Light of constellations,
And they would
Give me pause
To listen.

To the bullfrogs
In the swamp,
The scurrying
Creatures,
The smooth and
Gentle sound
Of boughs creaking.
The bubble of a
Spring, the scurry of
Foxes, crickets.

What a strange
Thing, to
Think so often
Of trees I
Miss like friends.

When I go home,
I might see the
People around whom
I was raised,
And joyously
Speak to them,
And listen to tales
About their lives-

But they’ll never
Say as much
As the the
White birch
In the forest
Where I found out
Who I was.

05/19/2026

“List”

A list of nights,
A spattering of birch,
A glass moon,
A dotted path,
An instinct,
A magnificent silver,
A rustling nocturne,
A granite stone,
An abundance,
An echoing chant,
A small fire,
A lace of smoke,
A jostling burrow,
An old story,
A denim gust,
A tree branch talking,
A leaf swirling,
A chalkboard sky,
A spongy loam,
A fungal musk,
A clock of shade,
A marathon of spiders,
A misguided hand,
A wordless song,
A briar embrace,
A scratched arm,
A wet shoe,
A crinkle of coals,
A dangled ether,
A water quest,
A sated lip,
A locked muscle,
A curious humph,
A sniffle sleeve,
A segue of crows,
A crinkling floor,
A dripping roof,
A motionless spindle,
An implausible cycle,
An end in sight,
A roster of darknesses,
A cresting glow-

And morning come.

05/19/2026

This is perhaps my favorite poem I’ve ever written.

“The Sadness of Slowing Down”

The kitchens of my youth
Were kaleidoscopic representations
Of unimaginable abuses,
Wonton sexual depravity,
Chain smoking,
Bad whiskey,
And white dusted smudges
On Formica.

Wallpaper isn’t a thing anymore.

My greatest bonds were formed
In those virile years,
All of us cut and chemically chipper,
Bike grease on the linoleum,
Ashtrays belying arguments
of monumental proportions.

We all rotted on the tree
And fell there, on those
Kitchen floors, among
Faded scratchings from
Long-dead dogs,
Design deductions made
By strange-scented Sicilians,
The withered Irish,
College kids.

An impressionist extravaganza
Of unmitigated poverty.

We relished in the bizarre,
Watched patterns crawl
Down walls and melt
Into baseboards,
Rooms pulsing like
The vital organs of a waning behemoth,

And we acquiesced to an
Apathetic absurdity there,
In those kitchens,
In those virile years.

We clawed our way
Out of adolescence,
Not unlike long-dead dogs,
Holding for dear life to
The backs of rickety chairs
Left behind by the ones
We could still hear-

The grown children,
The departed matriarch,
The downtrodden pipe fitter.

In those sunrise epiphanies,
Some sacred secrets
Were left there,
Akin to the stories
Told before we arrived.

A cigarette burn on the arm.
Meandering hands in the dark,
A blood-curdling scream.

We left demons there,
And picked up just as many.

In those virile years,
In those kitchens of my youth,
I came to know an unabashed
Love of suffering.

I can still hear the dog wail,
The Sicilian song,
The Our Fathers chanted
In puddles of white port and vitriol.

I can still smell burnt bacon,
Burnt co***ne,
Burnt souls wailing for redemption
In those squalid rooms that
Represented
Our Becoming.

I hesitate to return,
Anxious that the
Sadness Of Slowing Down
Might envelope me completely.

I hesitate to return,
Horrified that the argument
Was never won,
Was barely articulated,
Was simply moot.

I hesitate to return
To those kitchens of my youth, to
Those virile years-

In part because loneliness
Is cutting me to ribbons,
Because the trail of dead
Is too long,
Because I’ve never known
Friends like that-

But mostly because
Wallpaper isn’t a thing anymore.

05/19/2026

“Monarchs”

He heard the
Dinner bell
After what seemed like

A very short time.

He was among the milkweed,
Chasing monarchs.
“I’ll grow up
To be a king,” he thought.

Perhaps it was
His penchant for
Plucking
Off wings

And watching live things
Wiggle and die.

Latchkey kid.

The dinner bell
Was bu****it,
And he knew it.

It only meant
That the old man
Was cracking his
Third

And the apron
In the kitchen
Was stained
And hanging
By the door.

Among the milkweed,

He was everywhere.
He could see
Everything.

“F**k the dinner bell”,
He thought.
“It just means
The dish
In the microwave
Is hot.”

He never felt
Missed,
And the bell,
Obviously,
Pavlovian.

There was no truth
To its ring,
No melody.

And he would not be moved.

If there were
Something
To die for,

He felt he could
Lead an army
Through the grass.

Air brigade,
Wings all
Orange and black,

Diving, twisting,
Rat-a-tat
Machine guns,
All at his behest.

He held a
Tomato-plant stake
As if a sword,

Thrashing at
The milkweed,
Drunk on the
White blood

And delusions
Of grandeur.

There was no one
To take him
By the hand
And say,

“This is what
They feed upon.
This is an empty
Chrysalis.
They’re dying off”.

Perhaps if he
Had known,

He wouldn’t
Have plucked their wings.

The latchkey kid
Paid no heed
To the feast in the field,

And least of all

Address

Asheville, NC

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