13/09/2022
Mamayooooo!
Princess Diana,
you remember the woman who came with her people to see your people,
the one who gave your people goats,
the one whose son had made your heart go paragasha,
the one in whose huge house you went to live in,
that one of 6 mirrions umbrellas and matching hats,
You remember her?
Your mother in law?
they have just announced,
Womanz has joined her ancestors!
We need your signal on how we should treat her.
Princess Diana,
Before we remove our bras,
Before we start beating our breasts against the wall,
Before we allow mucus to form tributaries across our faces,
Before we smear our thighs with cowdung,
Before we open WhatsApp groups for contributions,
Before we start renting tents and plastic seats for matanga,
Before we start peeling potatoes and sorting njahi for the funeral,
Before the woman's guild choir start rehearsing,
Before we summon the chief to give us directions,
Before we advertise her demise on Inooro,
Send us a signal on how we should mourn her.
Princess Diana,
this your children's grandmother
is on her way to where you went in 1997,
any minute now she will knock on your door decorated in bling,
a small bag full of title deeds for lands she did not buy,
and a plastic jug full of MauMau blood and tears,
Diana, how will you greet her?
Will you bow your head or roll your eyes,
Diana, we need to know so that we can do the same!
Princess Diana,
this your husband's mother,
Us goat wives,
Us net wives
Us side chicks,
Us in Nairobi situationships,
All of us have finally united,
we want you to signal us in wholesale,
before we block these sons of Adam from accessing Canaan for 21 days and 21 nights,
Madam tell us, do we shave our hair and smear soil on our heads,
Or do we sip wine, do we swallow roast meat at Kamakis and buy expensive wig as if nothing has happened!
Princess Diana,
Mother of two,
Your children are big ooh,
One got married to a woman whose stomach is still flat after three children,
The other one married a woman whose m
