Half of a whole

Half of a whole A space for unspoken emotions to find a voice,where longing turns into poetry and love always matters.

I thought. I thought I was in love.I thought he was the best.I thought he was my source of dopamine.And for a time, he w...
23/02/2026

I thought.

I thought I was in love.
I thought he was the best.
I thought he was my source of dopamine.

And for a time, he was.

But now I realize he was only part of a season,
a passing chapter in my routinary life,
when change disguised itself as romance.

I believed he could see me,
could hear me,
could hold the secrets I shared of who I am.

But to him, I was convenience.

I was a pause between meetings,
a distraction from work,
a social accessory when solitude felt heavy.

He was self-centered,
a beast dressed in human civility, accessorized by neurons,
performing friendship while feeding only himself.

It was a nice experience, though.

I can no longer hold what I used to lovei can no longer escape what imprisons me. Inspired by Hanna Arendt.
03/02/2026

I can no longer hold what I used to love
i can no longer escape what imprisons me.

Inspired by Hanna Arendt.

Dying InsideI feel like I’m dying inside, quietly and slowly. I’m tired, tired of holding back, tired of not being able ...
02/02/2026

Dying Inside

I feel like I’m dying inside, quietly and slowly. I’m tired, tired of holding back, tired of not being able to do what I want. It upsets me more than I show, watching life move on while I stay stuck. The pain is heavy, and it never really goes away.
Drained. Exhausted. Bitter. Hopeless.
All these negativities surround me.

Taking the high road. It would mean choosing peace over impulse.I step back because I know when I should protect myself,...
01/02/2026

Taking the high road.

It would mean choosing peace over impulse.
I step back because I know when I should protect myself, and the process I am trying. Never again.

Never again. Even the idea was good, and the experience was enough.
28/01/2026

Never again.

Even the idea was good, and the experience was enough.

Being at rock bottom I remember being at rock bottom, quietly living with functional depression still showing up, still...
21/01/2026

Being at rock bottom

I remember being at rock bottom, quietly living with functional depression still showing up, still meeting expectations, yet completely drained of motivation. From the outside, I seemed fine, capable even, but inside there was a persistent heaviness that dulled any sense of purpose. I moved through my days on routine alone, because it was what I had learned to do. Then, almost unexpectedly, I found the drive I had been missing and carried it with me for two years; at the time it felt surreal, as though I were borrowing a different life, it felt good everyday until it slowly, almost gently, faded away.

Go with the flow.I am choosing to go with the flow. I stay professional, do my work, and keep things civil. I no longer ...
11/01/2026

Go with the flow.

I am choosing to go with the flow. I stay professional, do my work, and keep things civil. I no longer force my presence where it is not needed. What I give now is just enough—respect, effort, and distance. Letting things be has brought me more peace than trying to make myself fit.

Finding my footing.For a while, I lost my footing because I was fascinated by someone else’s intelligence. I admired the...
11/01/2026

Finding my footing.

For a while, I lost my footing because I was fascinated by someone else’s intelligence. I admired the way they spoke, how easily ideas flowed from them, and I mistook that brilliance for something I lacked. Standing beside it, I felt smaller, quieter, almost dumb, forgetting the ground I had already claimed for myself. It took time to realize that admiration should not cost me my balance. Slowly, I found my footing again, not by dimming their light, but by remembering my own, and learning to stand on it without apology.

Rain check for a fair chance Taking a rain check became my way of being honest with myself. I wanted to continue, but I ...
11/01/2026

Rain check for a fair chance

Taking a rain check became my way of being honest with myself. I wanted to continue, but I knew I was not ready yet. There were still things I needed to sort out and heal from. So I chose to pause, not because I did not care, but because I did. Sometimes, stepping back is the kindest way to give something a fair chance later.

Water under the bridge The past two years made me feel alive in ways I did not expect, full of moments that stirred my h...
11/01/2026

Water under the bridge

The past two years made me feel alive in ways I did not expect, full of moments that stirred my heart and gave color to my days. At the same time, they left me anxious and disposable, as if my presence could easily be set aside. I carried both the warmth and the unease longer than I should have. Now, it is water under the bridge, not erased, but no longer holding me back. I am finally moving on, choosing steadiness over uncertainty and peace over the cycle that once kept me afloat yet restless.

Getting out of a rabbit holeIt started as something light. I gave my attention the way you do when you’re curious and am...
11/01/2026

Getting out of a rabbit hole

It started as something light. I gave my attention the way you do when you’re curious and amused, with no real expectations. It was fun. Easy. I told myself it was harmless—just conversations, just time shared, just enjoying the moment.

Somewhere along the way, I got more involved than I planned. I enjoyed it more than I expected. I started looking forward to the attention, to the connection, to the small signs that I mattered. It didn’t feel like a mistake. It felt good. So I stayed.

Then it began to hurt.

What was once fun slowly turned into waiting, overthinking, and hoping for things that were never clearly offered. I kept going back, even when it no longer felt right. It became a cycle. enjoyment followed by disappointment, closeness followed by distance. I knew it was affecting me, but I didn’t leave right away.

Getting out wasn’t sudden or dramatic. It started when I admitted to myself that it was costing me more than it was giving. That the attention I was offering was not being returned in the same way. That I was holding on to something that no longer brought peace. It is because he chose him.

So I stepped back.

I didn’t deny that I enjoyed it. I didn’t pretend it meant nothing. I just chose to stop feeding the cycle. I took my attention back, little by little, and gave it to myself instead.

Now, I’m getting out of the rabbit hole. The pull is still there sometimes, but it no longer controls me. I can see things clearly now.

Leaving doesn’t feel like losing anymore.
It feels like choosing myself.

Is it the memory or the company?What if missing the company does not mean wanting to go back? What if it is only the mem...
10/01/2026

Is it the memory or the company?

What if missing the company does not mean wanting to go back? What if it is only the memory that I miss, not the place itself? Maybe some things are meant to be remembered, not returned to.

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