The Rice Cooker Journal by Maeve

14/05/2024

When we hear about Maria Clara from Dr. Jose Rizal’s “Noli Me Tangere” and “El Filibusterismo,” her characterization is often pure, delicate, the epitome of femininity, rooted in the image of the “ideal Filipina” during the 1800s. Although the characterization brought light to very noble traits of a Filipina such as resilience and compassion, many Filipinos in the present encourage submissiveness, silence, and having a timid demeanor as traits of the ideal "dalagang filipina"

This article seeks to challenge that mindset and bring light to the Filipino heroines that history often glosses over.

https://thericecookerjournal.wordpress.com/2024/05/13/dalagang-filipina-reimagining-and-exploring-the-ideal-filipina/

Been a while since I wrote an article for my website 😅😅

When we hear about Maria Clara from Dr. Jose Rizal’s “Noli Me Tangere” and “El Filibusterismo,” her characterization is often pure, delicate, the epitome of femininity…

11/05/2024

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

Perfection seems to be what women strive to be; but we tend to demonize anything outside of that word.

Women are expected to not be too fat because it’s unhealthy and unattractive, but not be too thin because otherwise we’re “anorexic” and unlovable.

We are expected to wear makeup to match the ever-changing beauty standards, but not too much because it doesn’t look natural.

We are expected to be quiet, but not too quiet otherwise you can get abused, but if you’re too loud you will be regarded as opinionated, someone who doesn’t know her place.

We are expected to raise children, to clean, and to cook delicious and healthy food to be considered good mothers; but at the same time, we have to work too and contribute to the household income, otherwise, we’re a burden to the family, we’re gold diggers, we spend too much of our husbands’ money. And even then, if we focus on work too much, we’re neglectful mothers, someone who doesn’t have enough time for her children.

We are expected to be strong, but not too strong. We have to learn to rely on men, otherwise, we’ll grow up lonely and unlovable with wine and cats. But if we rely on them too much, we’re too weak, too fragile, too delicate.

Even when something happens, somehow we are to blame, even on things that are outside of our control.

If we wear clothes too short, we are asking for it, we are assaulted, we are s***s, wh**es, and st*****rs. If our clothes are too long, we are prude, too modest, someone who doesn’t know how to have fun. But no matter what we do, we are still assaulted, r***d, molested, and even killed. Yet somehow it is still our fault.

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨?”
“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵?”
“𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.”

Everyday, we strive to be perfect, to be left alone. Yet, everyday, we are harassed, assaulted. And everyday, it’s our fault… Always our fault.

No matter what we do…

Perfection is what we strive to become.

𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙪𝙨 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚.

~ KMC

08/05/2024

𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗠𝘆 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲

We’ve been friends since middle school. There are a lot of things about her. I notice how she looks at me with her starlit eyes. She seems to see everything in vibrant colors and is always excited about everything and anything under the sun. Always smiling, she tends to pull me into her crazy antics. One time, she pulled me out of a club meeting to catch a toad with a clover-shaped spot on its back.

Spoiler alert: we weren't able to catch it.

Suddenly, things felt different. Suddenly, there were these strange feelings. I don’t know how long I’ve had these emotions. It all feels sudden, but somehow it feels like it has been there all this time. Her smile makes my heart ache, worrying if I'll be able to see that smile again. Her eyes make my stomach flutter with flesh-eating moths. The way she sees the colorful world fascinates me as I see mine in monochrome. This feels wrong, yet everything feels right. Now, here I am, looking for a toad with a clover-shaped spot on its back. Maybe, if I find it, I will know that it could be.

After days of searching, I finally found it. However, I see her with a boy... Holding hands.

Is this the feeling of envy?

I try to comfort myself, it just isn't the right time. I assure myself that it will never be the right time; because although she means the world to me, I can't control how her heart beats. I will never be her type. Because I'm just a girl, when her heart yearns for a guy.

~ KMC

06/05/2024

𝗦𝗸𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲

An average human skeleton weighs about 10 kilograms, but the skeletons hanging on our backs vary from person to person. Some are lighter, and their hosts are free to move. Some are heavier, limiting their opportunities. I have seen them firsthand.

When I was in high school, I first saw my classmates’ skeletons. Just sitting on their backs. The high achievers had smaller skeletons, where they were free to move. They had the means to buy books, the time to study, and a space to relax. Others were not as fortunate. With bigger, heavier skeletons latching onto their backs, it made moving harder. We couldn’t afford the textbooks and had to fight over who could check out the few available books in the library. Some did not have a happy home to relax in and had to breathe while walking on eggshells. Others, like me, had to work while studying. Along with the social struggles, having to work while studying, fighting over books; the skeleton on my back grows bigger and bigger. There are days where I would just sleep in because of how heavy it became, instead of studying or being productive. I know others with skeletons like mine who said they did the same. I was lucky I even graduated.

I once worked in human resources, and one of my tasks was employee discipline and sanctions. I noticed those who have trouble at work have larger skeletons than the top achievers. There are outliers, of course, but a good chunk of those with heavier skeletons often don’t have the opportunity, or even the energy to excel.

During the height of the transportation strike, I noticed many of those with heavier skeletons were late for work. Those with lighter skeletons, however, were happy that there was hardly any traffic. It was easier to drive to work. Of course, the upper management complained about the recurring tardiness; so I had to speak with the employees.

Most of them had the same reason: There weren’t enough jeeps. There were even a few of them who left their homes at 4am but still arrived at work 5 minutes late. I tried to lobby for some consideration from upper management, taking into account the current situation; but to no avail. I had to give them a written warning. I had to follow the damned code of conduct!

I resigned a few weeks after that incident. I want to serve the masses, not a corporate giant… but I came to realize that in the industry I am in, there’s only so much we can do. I’ve seen firsthand how those with heavy skeletons have to work twice as hard to get half the privilege others are given. But, when we talk about privilege, people often think of it as getting handed opportunities without having to work hard. Everybody has to work hard to get what they achieve; however, when we talk about privilege, it isn’t merely having opportunities handed to them, but rather the hurdles they don’t have to jump over to get those said opportunities.

Everyone has skeletons sitting on their backs. Just hanging steadily, with their weight enough to crush when given the chance. Be kind.

~ KMC

06/05/2024

Write a poem through a bouquet of flowers,
make ink with the sap on your thorns;
And as you wait for her love to bloom,
do not let your blossoms wither;

~ KMC

01/05/2024

If I were to live a life of bliss under the biased conditions of God
To live while others are harmed in the process
Then I will freely knock on the gates of hell
and say "Let me in for I have sinned"

~KMC~

22/01/2024

Playing around with watercolor. It's been so long ~_~

06/08/2023

𝙈𝙞𝙡𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨

We go together like milk and cookies,
Our partnership like coffee and ci******es,
So why fire the oven and heat up regret?

From different colors and lights,
We travel across different wavelengths
The roots of our trees come from the opposite sides of the world;

You’ve never felt hunger in your gut like how I did
and you’ve never felt the need to change your light,
because blending in is second nature for you
and your light was never dimmed like mine.

And you’ve never needed to blunt the blade of your tongue
or to hide the color of your irises,
because the colors that you see is complete and whole,
and you never needed to lick sugar from an empty bowl.

But I don’t want to apologize, for the way I was raised,
and I don’t want forgiveness for having a different name.
I will not say sorry for coming from a different strand of twine,
like how your mother never said sorry for having a tainted view of mine

Different cultures, colors, tongues, and how our worlds revolve still
yet we complement each other and our hearts still beat as one.
I’d like to say that we’re like cookies and milk,
but your family’s stomachs are lactose intolerant.

~ KMC

19/02/2023

𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚

A moth flew into my house one day. Its body was twitching and had a broken wing.
Couldn’t imagine what it has gone through. Could have escaped from a predator, or was almost eaten.

It could have just let itself be eaten; no one can control the food chain.

Yet it still fought for its life as if it held significance in the world.

Barely breathing with a broken wing, yet it still tries to fly.

I found it dead under my dish drainer the next morning;

But I’ve yet to imagine what it must feel like to persevere, even if there is a slim chance at survival…

~ KMC

29/08/2022

𝐏𝐡𝐩𝟔𝟎𝟎

"I am waiting in the lobby of a hospital for a consultation with a gynecologist. It was a 400-peso check-up. Why do you ask? I have a growing cyst in my left o***y. I was 4th in line, and I can’t help but think. Imagine what you could do with 400 pesos?

It’s enough to buy almost 10 kilos of rice, that’s what. Or you could buy 2 kilos of chicken. That would last for a week for my family. I sit on my chair stuck in thought. All the things I could buy with 400 pesos, yet it would be spent on a hospital visit. If only Php400 was all I needed to spend. I would need to shell out a thousand more for the laboratory tests. I would also need to spend more on transportation, which would cost over a hundred because the diagnostic centers aren’t very close to me. I’ll need to squander Php400 more for the next hospital visit.

I find myself having the urge to leave. Times have been hard. I lost my job, and I only have a small business that only makes four digits a month. Health is important, I know. But so is rice, food, rent… Sometimes I wonder how ideal life would be if healthcare were more accessible.

The doctor’s office door opens, and a patient goes out. I see her carrying a 500-peso bill and a 100-peso bill. I assume she’s on her way to the cashier. Wait—Php600? Does that mean the cost of the doctor’s appointment was Php600?

Imagine all the things I could buy with Php600… I would need just 7,000 more, and I’ll be able to pay for this month’s rent. I could buy 15 kilos of rice. It would last for two months. I would also be able to buy 2 kilos of pork so that we won’t have to be stuck with chicken for dinner. I’ll be able to buy 20 cans of corned beef as well. My gosh, Php600 is such a heavy amount. Could I afford it? I mean, the cyst would probably not be much of a big deal. And I have a family to feed on top of all that. I still have time to back out. Maybe I could say there’s an emergency?

No, I promised my partner I’ll have the cyst checked out. Goodbye, Php600.

It’s my turn to enter the doctor’s office. I took a deep breath, entered the room, and took a seat. I showed the gynecologist the results of my last ultrasound. “So, it seems the cyst is at 4cm now,” she explained. “We’ll need to have this monitored, so after about four months, you’ll need to have another ultrasound so we can see if it grows bigger or smaller. Once it reaches 6cm, we’ll need to have it surgically removed.”

𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥. The thought of the expenses left a lump in my throat. “Sure.” I sighed.

After the conversation, a nurse went into the room, “You can pay for the consultation here,” she said. I passed her a 1000-peso bill, and in return, she gave me a 500-peso bill and a 100-peso bill.

So, I guess the consultation was Php400 after all."

~KMC~

27/08/2022

mingminggggg