03/05/2025
𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠
I am tired—
but not for the reasons you’d think.
Not the kind of tired that sleep can fix,
but the kind that comes
from enduring.
From showing up
when I’m running on silent.
From exhaling
only through a smile
when I want to cry,
even without knowing why.
Maybe it’s the pressure.
Or the time I’m losing for myself.
But lately, I feel like I’m fading—
behind spreadsheets,
formulas,
the same clicks every day.
I don’t hate it.
I love the logic.
The precise structure of Excel.
The way code answers back
when the world doesn’t.
But there’s a part of me
that’s craving more—
a story,
a life that’s mine again.
Not just work that gets done,
but words that stay.
A voice that returns to me—
while the clock keeps rushing.
Right now, I’m just holding on—
task by task,
line by line.
But I miss myself.
The part of me that creates.
The one who dreams in sentences
and breathes through story.
And I don’t want to lose her—
not to numbers,
not to noise,
not to the hours
I don’t get back.