Kirby's Letters

25/11/2025

Finally done! ✍️🖤

Welcome to the brain of Maximus Klave-civil engineering student, chronic overthinker, and emotionally constipated roman...

02/10/2025

"Just Another Page In My Diary"

I thought growing up meant freedom.
Turns out it just means juggling bills,
deadlines,
and a body that keeps whispering,
“Slow down,”
while the world screams,
“Keep going.”

I wake up not to sunlight,
but to alarms sharp enough to carve lines under my eyes.
I wake up to the smell of instant coffee
and the taste of another day I can’t afford to waste.

College.
They said these are the years I’d find myself.
Funny.
All I’ve found so far
is debt dressed as textbooks,
syllabi that suffocate,
and the gnawing truth that life doesn’t pause
just because you need a breather.

I’m always out of breath.
Running from deadlines,
racing against tuition fees,
chasing a version of myself
that doesn’t feel like a failure.

Every quiz feels heavier than it should—
not because the questions are impossible,
but because my mind is a hurricane,
spinning with the what-ifs.
What if I collapse during the test?
What if the Wi-Fi cuts out again?
What if all this effort
still isn’t enough to climb out of the hole
that poverty keeps digging beneath me?

I keep smiling in class,
but my insides ache like bruised fruit.
I laugh with friends,
but the echo sounds hollow when I walk home alone.
I say “I’m fine”
so often it’s practically a second language.

But I’m not fine.
I’m a patchwork body,
stitched together by sleepless nights,
chronic pain,
and a thousand anxious thoughts
that don’t know how to stay quiet.

Depression sits on my chest
like a professor assigning extra work.
Anxiety buzzes in my ears
like fluorescent lights that never turn off.
And me?
I’m just here—
performing, pretending, pushing forward,
because stopping feels like the end of everything.

I want to rest.
God, how I want to rest.
But rest feels like betrayal.
Like I’m abandoning a future
that my family already sacrificed too much for.
Like if I put the books down for even a second,
I’ll lose the only thread keeping me connected
to a life beyond survival.

So I stay awake.
Eyes heavy,
hands trembling,
heart carrying more weight
than any syllabus could ever outline.
I stay awake because I have to.
Because quitting is an option
everyone else seems to expect from me—
but I refuse to gift them that satisfaction.

Still,
there are flickers.
Tiny sparks that slip between the cracks.
A laugh shared in the cafeteria,
a nod of respect from a professor,
a stranger saying,
“Hey, I liked what you wrote.”
And for a second,
the drowning slows.
The storm quiets.
The weight shifts.

For a second,
I feel alive—
not just surviving.

And maybe that’s all I need right now.
Not a miracle,
not a cure,
but proof.
Proof that even broken bodies can stand.
That even anxious minds can create.
That even in the chaos,
there are fragments of peace worth holding onto.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds.
But I know I’ll meet it.
Shaky,
tired,
aching—
but still here.

And maybe…
still here is enough.

29/07/2025

"Buwan"

Tuwing gabi, ika'y aking nakikita, diyan sa alapaap
Kapiling ang mga tala at buntala sa kalawakan Ako'y nabighani sa iyong taglay na kagandahan,
Kahit ika'y kulang, hindi buo kung minsan.

Mapalad,
Ang mga banoy at dumagat,
at lahat nang nilalang na may kakayahang lumipad
dahil kahit papaano ay mas malapit sila, sa iyong piling sinta.
Mahal para kang buwan sa kalangitan na kahit kailan ay di ko kayang abutin
Para bang kahit ilang man dagat ang aking languyin
at ilang bundok man ang aking akyatin, hindi mo parin ako mapapansin o bibigyang pansin dahil napakarami sayong nakapalibot na bituin na hindi ko kayang tumbasan ang ning-ning

Hindi kayang tapatan ilang dyamante at ginto man ang aking ipunin at dalhin, mahal wala parin
Wala paring pag-asa ang aking pusong umaasa na mapasaakin ka.

Ang hirap na, bakit ba nahulog ako sayo kasing lalim nang gabi
Kaya ngayon ako'y hindi mapakali
Iniisip kung ano ba ang dapat kong mabili, o bagay, o katangian na dapat kong taglayin mabigyan mo lang nang pansin

Mahal ang hirap, ang hirap na
Sobrang hirap dahil hindi ko alam kung pano ko maipaparamdam ang damdamin na aking nararamdaman para sayo
Bakit ba kasi sa dinami-rami nang maaaring matipuhan na binibini
Ikaw pa ang aking napili.

Natatakot ako,
dahil baka iba yung gusto mo
Natatakot ako baka hindi mo pansinin ang pagmamahal ko sayo,
pero mas natatakot ako na baka ako yung piliin mo
Natatakot ako dahil baka hindi ako maging sapat
At bandang huli ay punahin mo lahat nang mga bagay,
na hindi ko kayang ibigay sayo
Natatakot ako na mawala kapa sakin kapag nakuha na kita at kalauna'y ikaw saki'y magtapat,
bigla mong sasabihing "Mahal salamat nalang sa lahat"

Kaya't hanggang kaya kopang tiisin na makita kang masaya, kahit kasama mo'y iba, titiisin ko.

Magtitiis ako na sakin ika'y mapalayo
wag kalang tuluyan saking mawala
Magtitiis ako na mag-isa habang kapiling mo'y iba
wag kalang tuluyan saking mawala.
At nagtiis, nagtitiis, magtitiis parin ako na iba ang iyong gustuhin,
kaysa naman ako ang piliin mo, pero hanap mo'y nakaraan mo parin.

Kaya't ako'y mananahimik na lamang at magbubulagbulagan
Akin nalang idadalangin sa mga bituin mo na kapiling, sana ika'y kanilang alagan at ilayo ka sa kapahamakan
dahil mahal ito'y iyong tandaan, hahamakin ko ang lahat para lang ika'y protektahan,
kahit na kahit kailan, ni kakaunting halaga'y di moko binigyan.

Pero mahal parin kita, kahit ni minsa'y di moko minahal
At kung tutuusin ay handa naman akong sumugal
Pero alam ko namang walang pag-asa kaya't idadaan nalang sa dasal na sana'y ingatan ka niya
Nawa'y maiparamdam nya sayo yung pagpapahalaga
at pagmamahal na kahit kailan ay di mo sakin nagawa.

Mahal pakatatandaan, minamahal ko ay ikaw
Pangalan mo ay ,kaya kong isigaw
Ngunit alam ko naman na kapag ang langit ay nagkulay bughaw
Kagaya nang buwan,
aalis karin pagdating nang araw.

28/07/2025

"A Blueprint I Could Never Draft Alone"

In quiet hours when night alights,
I trace my thoughts 'neath softer lights.
The world’s asleep, but you're awake—
Solving forces that bend and break.
You carry storms behind your gaze,
Like beams designed to bear the blaze.
Steel in form, but soft in tone—
You’ve built a strength you call your own.

You study loads and how they bear,
The weight of things, the need to care.
I’ve seen your notes in perfect lines,
Where logic meets what hope defines.
And though I’ve walked this path awhile,
You spark a thought with just your smile.
Your drive is fierce, your mind precise,
You sketch a future, clean and nice.

You speak of slabs and columns deep,
Of sleepless nights and deadlines steep.
But when you laugh, the pressure fades,
Like sunlight cutting through arcades.
You’re drawing dreams on every page,
A future wise beyond its stage.
And here I stand, both proud and stirred—
By every line I’ve ever heard.

No mention made of time or years,
Just quiet pride and buried fears—
That maybe you won’t ever see
The silent bond you’ve built in me.
Each message, every moment near,
Feels like a bridge I hold so dear.
You sketch in graphs; I write in rhyme—
Two drafts that move beyond their time.

I’m not a master of your pace,
But I’ve learned depth in your grace.
And if you'd let me walk beside
Your civil dreams, I’d match your stride.
Not to instruct or lead your way,
But simply just to stay, and stay.
To bolt our paths with something true,
A tie that holds when storms break through.

If hearts were beams, I’d bear the load,
With you, I’d walk the steepest road.
And when your hands feel worn, unsure,
I’d be the frame to help endure.
You lay foundations, strong and clean,
In sketches most have never seen.
But I’ve seen you—your quiet fire,
The one who makes the world aspire.

In every problem set you face,
You meet it with such patient grace.
I see your name on every chart—
In plans you draw, you leave your heart.
And maybe mine just lingers near,
A silent line that hopes you're here.
To merge our drafts, not to compete,
But find the span where both complete.

So if these words reach where you are,
Past lectures, papers, sleepless stars—
Know this blueprint, soft and slight,
Was built for you one quiet night.
I don’t need to define the plan—
I’d just be proud to understand:
Your journey, brave and still unknown,
And walk it where I’m simply shown.

28/07/2025

"In Her Shadow, I Found the Sun"

I never thought my heart could stray,
From the path they said was meant my way.
Yet here she stands, her gaze so bright,
A flicker of warmth in the coldest night.

Her voice, a hymn that calls my name,
Each word she speaks, I feel the flame.
Her laughter dances through the air,
A melody beyond compare.

I trace the curve of her gentle smile,
And wonder if she knows, all the while,
That she has turned my world askew,
Revealing colors I never knew.

Her hands, so soft, yet strong with grace,
Hold a tenderness time can’t erase.
I ache to hold them, just to feel,
That all of this is real.

But shadows linger in my mind,
Whispering fears of a world unkind.
“What if she runs? What if she flees,
When she finds her reflection in my seas?”

Yet love is bold, and love is wild,
It breaks the rules like a reckless child.
I choose her smile, I choose her flame,
Even if the world denies her name.

For in her shadow, I found the sun,
A love that burns when all else is done.
Let them judge; let the rumors fly,
My heart is hers until I die.

And if she never feels the same,
I'll love her still without the blame.
For knowing her, my soul’s been kissed—
A light like hers could not be missed.

28/07/2025

"Darkness Was My Mistress"

She found me there, beneath the ruin,
A shattered soul, a fate left strewn.
The world had burned, the ashes cold,
No past to claim, no hand to hold.

She whispered low, a silver thread,
A lullaby for hearts long dead.
Moonlight wept upon my skin,
A lover’s touch—so pale, so thin.

Once, I danced in halls of gold,
Where laughter swayed and dreams were told.
But fortune dies with cruel delight,
And leaves you drowning in the night.

They took my name, they took my home,
They stripped my flesh down to the bone.
I called for mercy—none replied,
So I let the stars become my guide.

Darkness cradled me in arms unseen,
A velvet void, so cold, serene.
No rules, no chains, no fate to weave,
Just endless night—a breath, reprieve.

She pressed her lips against my eyes,
And showed me truths beneath the skies.
Not all who fall are meant to die,
Not all is lost beneath the tide.

I built from shadows, stone by stone,
A kingdom vast that stood alone.
Not from gold, nor mortal grace,
But from the depths where echoes trace.

I carved my name into the dark,
A phantom flame, a glowing spark.
No past, no chains, no weight to bear,
Just midnight winds and silver air.

The world still whispers, calls me back,
To beg, to kneel, to fade to black.
But I have danced with ghosts and sin,
And I will never break again.

For in the dark, I found my throne,
The moon, my crown—my soul, my own.
Let dawn stay lost, let mortals pine,
Darkness was my mistress—
And now, she is mine.

27/07/2025

“Where the Sky Meets the Sea (and Then, There Was You)”

I thought I'd never see, a line as beautiful as the line where the sky meets the sea—
but then you happened.
Not like a storm, not like a spark—
more like the calm that made me question the dark.

You weren’t loud.
You were the hush that made silence feel profound.
A stillness I never knew I was waiting to drown in.

Before you, my world was structured,
lines sharp, rules clear—
a checklist kind of love I thought I held dear.
Then you came in—off-rhythm, off-beat—
and suddenly the horizon had…
depth I couldn’t compute.

I used to admire distance from afar—
sunsets, skylines, stars behind bars.
But then you blinked in my direction,
and suddenly, even gravity felt like suggestion.

I never expected to meet a moment that felt like dusk caught in motion—
but you…
you were the meeting point of logic and longing.
A contradiction that made too much sense.
A question mark that finished my sentence.

You’re not older—you’re ahead.
Like you already knew the heartbreak waiting at every thread.
But still, you pulled me in—
not with promises, but presence.

And I didn’t know the sea could feel like home
until I realized
I was the sky—
and you were where I ended.

You didn’t fix me.
You flipped me.
Tilted my compass,
rewrote my axis.

And now every time I look at the edge of anything—
a window, a page, a pause in a song—
I hear your voice like shoreline wind,
soft, sure, and slightly wrong in the best way.

I used to chase symmetry.
But you?
You taught me beauty lives in the blur.
In the almost.
In the maybe.
In the deep blue hush before certainty.

I thought I'd never see, a line as beautiful as the line where the sky meets the sea—
until I realized...
you are the place
where everything in me begins to breathe.

05/07/2025

Diary of an Overthinker
Chapter 50 – “The Fair, the Fall, and the Flutter”
Date: October 27, 2024
Location: KLAV University – Engineering Department Grounds, Engineering Fair

6:00 AM – No Turning Back Now
It was still dark when I woke up, but sleep had already abandoned me. My alarm buzzed like an anxious mosquito, as if even it knew what today meant.

The Engineering Fair.

The culmination of everything. Every group activity, every sleepless night, every awkward brush of fingers while holding steel rods and wires. All of it came down to today.

I stood in front of the mirror, brushing my hair into something resembling “confident future engineer” and failing spectacularly. I looked like someone about to throw up on a projector.

This was fine.

7:15 AM – Setup Scramble
The university’s engineering grounds were already buzzing. Booths lined the walkways, each one decorated in their department colors: Mechanical with slick gears, Electrical with pulsating LEDs, and Civil with towering structural models that looked like they could survive a hurricane or two.

Our booth stood near the center. “KLAV CE-1A REPRESENTATIVE” was plastered proudly above it. It felt… surreal.

Erin was already there, setting up the laptop. Mia was checking the truss joints, and Dev was reorganizing our flyers alphabetically. For no reason.

“Big day,” Erin said without looking up.

“Yup,” I said, sipping from my anxiety-filled thermos. “Just casually competing against every engineering subfield in school. No pressure.”

She finally looked at me and smiled. “You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

Right. We. I was starting to like the sound of that.

8:00 AM – The Crowd Arrives
The campus flooded with people—faculty, students, alumni, and terrifyingly enthusiastic high schoolers on field trips. Each booth had judges rotating in, clipboards in hand, ready to smile politely or destroy dreams. Neat.

I caught sight of Ronan by the Mechanical wing. He wasn’t competing today. His group didn’t make it. He saw me. Nodded once. Cold. Calculated. But also… defeated. I should’ve felt smug. I didn’t.

Harold, however, was manning a booth nearby. He looked like he was trying to appear indifferent, but he kept glancing at Erin like he was expecting something—an apology, maybe? A confession? A miracle?

Erin ignored him. Which, let me tell you, was even more effective.

9:30 AM – Demo Time
Professor Castillo arrived with the first wave of judges. She smiled at us warmly, but behind it was the fire of a woman who expected absolute excellence.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she said.

And somehow—we were.

I started our presentation. My voice didn’t crack. Erin adjusted the model during my explanation with fluid precision. Mia explained the load calculation interface, and Dev, somehow, made elastic modulus sound poetic.

We flipped the switch. The truss flexed, held, and adjusted as we simulated shifting weights and distributed loads. LEDs flickered from green to yellow to red—perfectly timed.

The judges nodded. One even whispered, “Clean work.”

My chest inflated about three centimeters.

10:15 AM – Surprise Observer
As we wrapped up, a professor from the Mechanical Engineering Department stepped forward.

“I heard you’re the first-year CE rep,” he said, adjusting his glasses. “Mind if I take a closer look?”

I said sure, trying not to squeak. Erin and I walked him through the specs again. He asked tough questions. I answered with shaky confidence that somehow passed as “competent.”

When he left, Erin nudged me.

“You sounded like a real engineer.”

I blinked. “Terrifying.”

She laughed.

12:00 PM – Buzzing and Whispers
By noon, word had spread. People were coming to our booth because they’d “heard about the demo.” Some even asked if we were offering internship applications. I told one of them I was still trying to pass Physics 2.

Rumors, of course, continued in their parallel track.

“I saw Max holding Erin’s hand under the table.”

“Didn’t they get coffee together before their panel?”

“Look at the way she looks at him…”

At this point, I could only roll my eyes. We weren’t not close. But people were acting like we eloped in the electronics lab.

1:30 PM – Awards and Announcements
All the booths closed by early afternoon. We gathered under the main archway where a makeshift stage was set up for announcements. The host read through the list of winners for each division, starting from minor awards to major ones.

“And for Best Structural Presentation among all first-year participants…” the speaker paused for effect.

I held my breath.

“Team Klave from Civil Engineering!”

Erin squealed beside me. Dev let out a strangled “HA!” and Mia fist-pumped like she’d just won the lottery.

We walked up together. Photos were taken. Medals handed out. I grinned until my face hurt.

As we walked down the steps, Erin leaned close. “We did it.”

And somehow, under the noise of applause and the confetti poppers some club overused, I said the thing I’d been holding in for weeks.

“I like us too.”

She blinked. Then smiled.

“That’s good. Because I do too.”

2:45 PM – The End… or Something Like It
The crowd thinned. Booths were being taken down. My medal felt heavier than expected. Probably because I wasn’t used to winning. At anything.

Leia and Nass showed up right on cue.

“Finals done, fair won, feelings admitted?” Leia asked with a smirk. “That’s a Max trifecta.”

“Tell me you wrote all this down,” Nass added, gesturing to my ever-present notebook.

I held it up. “Every painfully awkward second.”

They laughed. Erin bumped her shoulder into mine.

“You’re not as much of a mess as you think, you know.”

“Careful,” I said. “You’re starting to sound like someone who might date me.”

She just smiled. Didn't say no.

4:00 PM – Final Entry of the Semester
We sat under the acacia tree, our usual spot. I flipped to the back of my journal. A blank page.

I began to write:

TODAY’S WINS

Fair champions

First official compliment from a ME prof

Erin maybe definitely likes me

Didn’t faint during demo

TODAY’S QUESTIONS

Are we… dating now?

Will next semester be this chaotic?

Is overthinking actually a superpower?

I closed the journal and let the sun warm my face.

And if you’re wondering—no, I don’t have all the answers yet.

But hey, semester one is over. I survived. I may even have thrived.

And as for next semester?

Well…

Let’s just say I’ve learned to expect chaos, caffeine, competition, and—apparently—feelings.

Can’t wait.

(Great.)

—Maximus Klave, Civil Engineering Survivor… for now.

05/07/2025

Diary of an Overthinker
Chapter 49 – “Whispers and Final Sheets”
Date: October 25, 2024
Location: KLAV University – Academic Building, CE-1A Exam Hall, University Quad

6:30 AM – Wake-up Weight
My alarm didn’t wake me—my thoughts did.

I'd been up for an hour before the buzzer even went off, staring at the ceiling, listening to the clock tick. Final exam day. Technically, it should’ve been just another academic hurdle. But this one felt… loaded. Heavier. As if months of overthinking and tiny unspoken moments had accumulated into a storm.

And it wasn’t just the exam.

The rumors had grown claws.

7:40 AM – Whisper-Filled Walk
The walk to the exam hall felt different. My classmates were always loud before big tests—nervous laughter, shared mnemonics, desperate rereading of formulas. But this time, the soundscape had shifted.

I felt eyes.

Not hostile. Just… curious.

“She’s always with him now,” someone muttered near the stairs.

“He gave her that panda keychain, right?”

“Leia said she saw them holding hands last week—”

I quickened my pace. My hands gripped my review sheets, but I wasn’t reading them. I wasn’t even blinking properly.

“Max!” Erin’s voice pierced through the static. She jogged up to me, slightly out of breath, holding a familiar thermos. “Green tea with ginger. For nerves.”

She smiled as she offered it.

I accepted it with a shaky thanks. The heat from the cup steadied me more than the contents ever would.

“Don’t listen to them,” she said quietly. “They talk because they don’t know.”

I gave a faint nod. I wanted to say something clever, but all I could manage was, “We’ll do our best today.”

Her smile softened. “We always do.”

8:00 AM – The Final Exam Begins
The classroom was colder than usual. I sat beside Erin, with Dev and Mia nearby. Ronan and Harold were three rows behind us—like they always had been. The seating chart never changed, but the dynamics in the room had.

Professor Castillo handed out the test sheets herself, pausing just briefly at each top student’s desk. “Good luck,” she said to me softly, like an anchor in a storm.

I glanced down at the paper.

Fifty problems. Structural analysis, fluid mechanics applications, applied physics, and more. The culmination of our first semester.

I took a breath, uncapped my pen—and the overthinking began.

8:15 AM – Triple-Check Terror
Question 4: Load distribution on a truss with uneven supports. Easy… until I second-guessed my initial answer. Then recalculated. Then doubted it again.

I glanced sideways. Erin was deep in thought, her eyes scanning line after line. Calm, poised. Her pen moved with purpose. I hated how easily I got distracted by the graceful furrow of her brow, the way she bit her lip when calculating.

Does she think about me like I think about her?

Do these rumors make her uncomfortable?

Does she want me to pull away?

I forced myself back into the question. Focus, Max. Focus.

9:10 AM – Silent Support
Halfway through the exam, I felt my pulse rising again. The numbers blurred. I closed my eyes, only for a second.

Then—Erin gently nudged her pencil across the desk until it bumped against my elbow. I looked at her. She mouthed: “Breathe.”

And I did. Because she asked.

I got through the next fifteen questions with surprising ease. Then hit a wall again.

9:55 AM – The Ronan Glare
Ronan stood up to submit his paper first. Of course. He was always first to finish, always confident. As he passed my row, he slowed for half a second—long enough for his eyes to flick from me to Erin.

He smirked.

Not kindly.

Erin didn’t see it. But I did. And it burned. I gripped my pen harder.

10:30 AM – The End and the Echoes
I finished with just three minutes to spare. Every page felt like a battlefield. When Professor Castillo called time, I exhaled like I hadn’t breathed all morning.

As we filed out, the murmurs resumed.

“They’re definitely a thing.”

“He was watching her the whole time.”

“I bet they studied together all week.”

Leia intercepted us outside, arms crossed and eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Okay, lovebirds,” she said, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear. “How many hearts were drawn on your test paper, hmm?”

I turned bright red. Erin laughed—an actual laugh, light and unbothered. But I saw the way she adjusted her backpack strap after, as if suddenly self-aware.

Nass joined us next, handing Erin a muffin and me a forehead flick. “If I hear one more ‘Max and Erin’ theory, I swear I’ll start charging gossip tax.”

I offered a weak smile, but my stomach twisted. Erin didn’t deserve to be whispered about.

“Are you okay?” I asked her quietly as the others bantered ahead.

She nodded. “They’ll talk no matter what we do. But we know who we are. That’s what matters.”

“But… I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Because of me.”

She stopped walking. The group was a few steps ahead now.

“Max,” she said, softly but firmly. “I’m not uncomfortable with you. I like… us.”

My breath caught.

But before I could ask what that meant, she turned, brushing my hand with hers. “Come on. They’re getting ahead.”

11:00 AM – Quiet in the Quad
We all sat under our usual tree. Leia started a story about a professor mispronouncing “cantilever” as “cat liver.” Nass added sound effects. Mia and Dev bickered over their answers to Question 36.

But I was somewhere else.

In Erin’s smile. Her words.

“I like us.”

That echo became the beat in my chest.

11:45 AM – Final Thoughts
I didn’t know how the exam went. I didn’t know how much truth there was in the rumors. I didn’t even know what “us” meant yet.

But I knew I wasn’t alone.

And maybe that was enough for now.

Tomorrow: final fair prep. Our last stretch. Our last week.

My last chance to figure out what’s in her heart… and mine.

—Max

05/07/2025

Diary of an Overthinker
Chapter 48 – “The Night Before”
Date: October 28, 2024
Location: KLAV University – Engineering Lab, Cafeteria, Dorm Walkways

7:45 AM – Stress Signals and Circuit Boards

The morning light streamed in through the high windows of the engineering lab, making our project table look like a battleground. Soldering irons still warm, breadboards tangled with wires, screws rolling underfoot—it was organized chaos. Dev brushed a hand through her bangs, eyes darting between her checklist and the latest simulation. Mia leaned against a nearby table, checking our testing logs one more time.

Erin sat cross-legged beside me, adjusting the truss frame while humming something soft under her breath. Her hair was pulled back, exposing a small freckle near her ear. I stared at it for too long. She caught me.

“What?” she asked, not looking up.

“Uh. Nothing. Just... thinking.”

She smirked. “That’s your whole brand, Max.”

I smiled weakly and went back to the code we were running on the microcontroller—looping stress points through LED indicators with live voltage readouts. The presentation wasn’t until tomorrow, but we weren’t leaving anything to chance.

Except maybe… sleep. Or sanity.

10:20 AM – Leia’s Unscheduled Check-In

We were still knee-deep in testing when Leia burst through the lab doors, holding two lunch boxes and a drink tray. Her blazer was askew, as if she ran here.

“Do nerds eat,” she declared, “or should I write an obituary now?”

Mia nearly dropped the screwdriver from laughing. Dev groaned in relief. Erin looked genuinely touched.

Leia handed me a lunch box. “You were about to skip again, weren’t you?”

“I wasn’t hungry—”

Leia raised an eyebrow, the kind that said don’t test me.

“Thanks,” Erin said beside me, opening hers. “This is sweet.”

Leia sat down, pulling her knees to her chest. “I figured if I couldn’t help with stress sensors or electrical loads, I’d at least keep you all human.”

“I second that,” Nass said, appearing behind her like a magician. “Max hasn’t blinked in twenty minutes.”

I blinked. “I have.”

“Nope,” Erin teased. “That was just your system rebooting.”

12:30 PM – A Walk and a Confession

After lunch, the lab started to feel like it was suffocating me. I slipped out for air, and Erin followed without a word. We walked behind the building, near the acacia trees, where fallen leaves made crunching music beneath our shoes.

We didn’t speak for a while.

Then, she broke the silence.

“You ever think about what happens after tomorrow?”

I swallowed. “Like… after the Fair?”

“Yeah. Finals. Holidays. Second semester.”

“I’ve thought about it. But lately it’s like my brain’s just… clogged.”

“With overthinking?”

“Always.”

She turned to me, walking backwards. “What clogs it most?”

“You.”

It slipped out too fast.

She blinked. “Oh.”

I rubbed my neck. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I mean—you’re in my head, constantly. I can’t tell what’s real anymore. When you smile at me, I wonder if it’s for me or just muscle memory. When you touch my arm, I panic. When you compliment something I say, I replay it at night wondering if you meant more. It’s…”

“Exhausting?”

“Yeah.”

She took a step closer. The sun caught her eyes like soft gold.

“What if I said… you’re in mine too?”

I froze.

Erin didn’t smile—she just looked serious, like it was costing her something to say it.

“I notice when you don’t show up to class on time. I find excuses to sit beside you. When I see you overthinking, I want to grab your hand and say, Stop, I’m here. I’m real.”

My throat closed up.

And then she added, more gently, “But I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“You don’t.”

“You sure?”

“I think you’re the only thing keeping me grounded.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay then. Let’s get through tomorrow first.”

I nodded back.

But something shifted.

3:00 PM – Unexpected Support

Back in the lab, Dev and Mia had run our truss through its fifth dry run—flawless. Dev gave a low whistle.

“This thing could hold a baby elephant,” she joked.

“Or at least a stack of bad decisions,” Mia added.

Nass peeked through the door again. “Heard that. You guys close to done?”

“Almost,” Erin said. “One more alignment test.”

He smiled at me. “You doing okay?”

I looked up. For once, I didn’t lie.

“Yeah. I think I am.”

He gave me a thumb’s up before leaving. It was such a small thing. But it mattered.

6:00 PM – Rumors and Resolutions

In the cafeteria, I heard it again.

“Are they together? Max and Erin?”

“She was feeding him fries yesterday.”

“I heard they’re representing the CE program and dating.”

It didn’t bother me until I saw Erin hear it too. Her face tightened. That bothered me more than the rumor itself.

I nudged her tray. “Hey. You okay?”

She blinked. “Just… didn’t expect it to spread so fast.”

“You want me to say something?”

“No. Just… don’t let it get to you.”

But I could tell it was. And that crushed me.

“Tomorrow, it’s just us. No rumors. No noise. Just focus, okay?”

She nodded, quieter than usual. I hated how her shoulders sank.

8:15 PM – Final Calibration

As the stars emerged, we were back in the lab for one last round of tests. No one else remained but us.

I adjusted the last calibration point. Erin clipped in the final cable.

“Everything good?” I asked.

She leaned against me, shoulder to shoulder. “Everything’s ready.”

The silence between us wasn’t awkward. It was charged, heavy with everything unsaid.

“I’m scared,” I admitted.

“So am I,” she whispered. “But I trust you.”

And that was enough.

11:00 PM – Final Entry

Back in my dorm room, I stared at the ceiling. The prototype was done. The fair was tomorrow. The semester almost over.

But my heart?

It was just starting something.

TODAY’S CHECKLIST
☑ Final prototype tested and prepped
☑ Shared honest thoughts with Erin
☑ Ignored the rumors… for now
☑ Ate lunch because Leia yelled at me
☑ Didn’t spiral (too much)

TOMORROW’S GOAL
Don’t just present. Show up. For Erin, for the team, for myself.

Let’s see what happens.

—Max