Leaves

08/02/2026

to love is to be free from our guard

01/08/2025

dear you,

01/08/2025

16/02/2025

—abn

14/02/2025

to love a soul and all its company
each throb, every pulse
is a declaration.

for years it was only me.
now, the reason is only you.

—abn

12/11/2024

the patience it takes to weather the waiting
is a lot tougher to put on than to pull out bravery
from my little pocket when i conquer something new

"and so we wait."

12/11/2024

i have so much love in me
and no one to give them to

i have so much greatness left in me
and nobody to show them to

how hard is it to be loved?
i care to be loved.
even when it's not the same as loving.

12/11/2024

im turning 24.
and i wanna cry.

i still look the same and people i meet cant tell me that enough.
im still young but i can feel myself getting old.

my classmates are getting married, some are already married, some have babies, others jobs.
and here i am sitting in front of my laptop writing my emotions away as a college graduate, no job, no close friends, no boyfriend, and yet to take the board exam.

i feel like i didnt age at all. like im still 19 and trying to figure out whether or not i will reply to my crush's chat on messenger.
i wanna go out and vent but i have nobody.
i feel so alone and even though i have always been alone literally, it's a different kind when there are people around and still you feel like it.

when is this thing going to be over? and i dont even know what im gonna do when this is over.
i feel like crying. i would like to believe this is what they call the twenty-something phase. oh god how i hope this is just a phase because this has been going on for years now in my life.

what is it with being in your twenties and playing life's guessing game?

23/09/2024

you can hear it unfolding
you can feel it beginning to turn

each day you discover
something you never learned before

& suddenly it came knocking on your door
how, you do not know.
why, you maybe do.

& it'll be the best thing that's ever gonna happen to you.

-abn

23/09/2024

i know something is going to happen
i just dont know what

& i cant find a word
that rests between fear and hope
to describe the waiting time

but maybe the art of the unknown
is to stop finding it
and let it find you instead.

—abn

23/09/2024

i stopped moving and watched time do it.

it's crazy how your instinct tell you that today
might be the last day of a chapter in your life.

and i just stared blankly trying to take a mental picture
of the universe doing its work.

—ABN