28/04/2026
π THE DAY I DEFENDED GARRI IN SCHOOL DEBATE π
Back in secondary school, our English teacher made the mistake of choosing me, Godsent, to represent my house in an inter-school debate π€π
The topic was:
βWhich Is Better: Garri or Rice?β
Immediately I heard it, I stood up and shouted:
βMadam, my mama the sell garri I'm gonna win this debate....π
The whole class burst into laughter.
My opponent was one fine girl from another school, Amara, representing Rice πβ¨
She adjusted her tie like she was defending PhD thesis and said:
βRice is food of celebration π
No wedding is complete without rice.
No birthday is successful without rice.
No Christmas is valid without rice.
Nobody says:
βCome celebrate with us, we are serving soaked garri and groundnut.ββ
Crowd laughed ππ
She continued:
βRice has class π
Rice has packaging π
Rice has varieties:
Jollof, Fried, Coconut, Ofada, White Rice & Stew π
Rice enters party with confidence.
Rice wears suit and tie π
Garri enters in rubber bowl.β
Audience screamed ππ€£
Then she dropped final bomb π£:
βRice is for champions π
Athletes eat rice.
Presidents eat rice.
Garri is what people eat when things are not moving well.β
Thunderous applause ππ₯
Even my own classmates were clapping.
Traitors. ππ
Then it was my turn π
I adjusted my oversized school trousers and stepped forward like a warrior πΊ
βGood day honorable judges, respected audience, and my opponent speaking under the influence of jollof propagandaβ¦β π€£
βToday I stand to defend not just a foodβ¦
I stand to defend a LEGEND πͺA SURVIVOR π«‘
A SAVIOR OF HUMANITY πI stand to defendβ¦
GARRI!!!β......
Half the students shouted:
βYEEEEEE!!!β ππ₯
I asked the judges:
βDo you have garri in your house?β π
They laughed........
One judge nodded π.....
I shouted: βExactly! Because Garri is the LAST HOPE OF MANKIND!β
When rice finishes β Garri is there π«‘
When salary never enter β Garri is there πΈ
When mummy says βmanage till month endβ β Garri appears like superhero π¦Έ
Audience: βYEEEEEE!β π€£
βRice is for parties π
Garri is for survival πͺ
Rice is occasional π
Garri is dependable π―β
Then I turned to Amara dramatically π€π
βCan rice save you in 30 seconds?!β
βWhen hunger strikes by 11:47pm π
Can rice shout:
βMy son, I am ready!β?β
NO!
But Garri?
Add water π§
Add sugar π¬
Add groundnut π₯
SALVATION HAS COME! ππ€£
Then I explained the meaning of GARRI ππ₯
G β Giver of Energy β‘
A β Attitude Changer π€
R β Restorer of Hope π
R β Reducer of Weakness πͺ
I β Increaser of Agility π
βGarri has many names:β
Student Power π
Life Support β€οΈ
Hunger Destroyer π½οΈ
Emergency Department π
Federal Ministry of Survival ποΈπ€£
βGarri is loyal!β
Cornflakes came and left π₯£
Golden Morn disappointed π
Noodles became expensive πΈ
But Garri remained faithful.
Faithful in dry season βοΈ
Faithful in rainy season π§οΈ
Faithful in suffering π
Then I delivered the final blow π£π₯
βMy opponent said nobody serves garri in partyβ¦β
I paused dramatically π
βTHAT IS BECAUSE GARRI IS NOT A PARTY GUESTβ¦β
Entire hall went silent π
Then I shouted:
βGARRI IS FAMILY!!!β π π€£π₯
Hall exploded πππ
I pointed at Amara one last time:
βRice is for enjoymentβ¦
GARRI IS FOR EMERGENCY AND ENJOYMENT!β
Rice needs firewood π₯ Rice needs gas β½
Rice needs pot π² Rice needs time β³
But u see Garri?Just bring cup and waterβ¦WE MOVE! πΆββοΈπ¨π€£
Thank you. π€β¬οΈ
Abeg did I win amara π€£π€£π€·.