22/04/2026
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He’s 36. From day one, he promised me marriage and said I’m the one who will mother his children.
Because of that, I gave him everything. For 4 years, I’ve basically become his house help. I spend weekends (and some weekdays) at his place washing his heavy clothes by hand, scrubbing floors, and cooking soups to stock his freezer.
I even travel to his village every planting and harvest season to work on his mother’s farm under the hot sun, just to prove I’m “wife material.”
Yesterday broke me 💔. After washing a mountain of clothes and cooking until my body ached, my mum called needing urgent help. I told him I’d return the next day to iron, but he got angry and called me lazy. He said I’m not ready for marriage because I couldn’t iron after everything I’d done. He showed no concern for my tiredness or my mum’s needs.
Now planting season is here again. I told him I can’t travel because I have a professional exam I’ve already paid for, my future is on the line. He said if I don’t go, I should forget the relationship. He called me weak, disrespectful, and not “submissive” enough to be a wife.
I’m tired. I feel like a servant, not a partner. But I’m 28 and have given him 5 years of my life. Starting over scares me. How do I make him change, or is it time to walk away after everything I’ve invested? 😔
