25/09/2026
How to Handle People Who Only Remember You When They Need Something
Have you ever noticed that some people can go for months without checking on you, but the moment they need a favour, they suddenly remember your phone number?
“Hi! How are you?”
You may even get excited because you think they genuinely want to know how you're doing.
Then comes the real reason:
“Please, I need your help with something.” 😅
It can be frustrating, especially when you realise that the relationship seems to exist mainly when they need something from you.
But before you become angry or completely cut someone off, look at the pattern.
Sometimes people are genuinely busy. Sometimes they may assume you are doing fine and don't need checking on. And sometimes, yes, there are people who only maintain relationships when they need something.
The important thing is to recognise the difference.
So, how should you handle it?
1. Don't feel obligated to say yes every time.
Someone asking for help doesn't automatically mean you must provide it.
If you can't help, you can simply say, “I'm sorry, I can't help with that right now.”
You don't need a long explanation.
2. Pay attention to the pattern.
If someone consistently disappears when everything is fine but appears whenever they need money, connections, favours or assistance, take note.
You don't have to become suspicious of everyone, but you should be aware of one-sided relationships.
3. Set boundaries without being rude.
Being kind doesn't mean making yourself permanently available.
You can care about people while still deciding what you are willing and able to do for them.
4. Don't give more than you can afford to lose.
Whether it is money, time, energy or emotional support, don't repeatedly give from a place that leaves you struggling.
5. Don't let resentment consume you.
If you realise that someone doesn't value the relationship in the same way you do, adjust your expectations.
You don't necessarily have to fight with them.
Sometimes, you simply need to stop expecting from the relationship what it has never consistently provided.
And remember...
Relationships should not always be measured by how often someone calls.
People have responsibilities, challenges and busy seasons in life.
But when someone repeatedly remembers you only when they need something, you are allowed to notice the pattern and respond accordingly.
Be kind, but have boundaries.
Be helpful, but don't allow yourself to be used.
Give when you genuinely want and are able to—not because you are afraid of disappointing someone.
💜 Time with Jummie Tip
You don't have to become cold because some people take advantage of your kindness.
Keep your good heart, but add wisdom to it.
