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At one point in time, a group was recommended for me to join. I did join but days later, I felt the strong urge that i d...
17/05/2026

At one point in time, a group was recommended for me to join. I did join but days later, I felt the strong urge that i didn't need to be here. Should I say I lost my peace, but kept forcing my stay. Maybe with time, I will align. Maybe I'm only experiencing beginner syndrome. Maybe, I'm yet to get used to the system. A lot of maybes, a lot of reasons to stay, a lot of reasons to remain but only one reason to leave... "I don't belong here" Instead of opting out, I kept giving excuses for staying, till I couldn't. Yes, they were doing the right thing, their move is an inspiring one, the organization itself was a propeller to growth and becoming. From the outlook, they were Just perfect to be one of them.

But why can't I be here? Why did my spirit fight so hard to accept my stay there? It was after I left, I realized that I could belong, but not fit in. Because a network is flawless, does not automatically call for my inclusion.There is a place for everyone and everybody has a space to fit in. And in trying to forcefully affiliate with a setup not designed for you, you end up missing the target, wasting time and becoming unproductive at the end of it all. Where we are, plays a crucial role in what will be made out of us and what we will be shaped into. So In trying to fix yourself somewhere, you should first ask yourself the purpose, what profit will it be to you and what problems will it generate if you linger.

Written by: Ogala Theodora


As children growing up in a Nigerian home, we were raised under parents who were disciplinarian or the "no-nosense" kind...
10/05/2026

As children growing up in a Nigerian home, we were raised under parents who were disciplinarian or the "no-nosense" kind of upbringing. But it has never gotten to a point where punishing a child becomes synonymous with killing that child. What I find abnormal is raising hands on an adult, someone who is in their mid 20's. It's not something I'd relate to, so I sincerely see it as an anomaly. There was a certain level we all grew to that my dad stopped raising hands on us, he resulted in other methods till we all left home. And also, there are many sane disciplinary measures to adopt in handling a child/children, no matter the gravity of the offense, and beating is the least effective.

A father aggressively goes physical with his child, subjects her to bodily torture and what people could say is that, the father has the right to correct the child, nobody disputed that. But What I find embarrassing is hitting an adult and what I find more disgusting is assaulting the child under the cloak of "discipline" See, abuse is abuse no matter who is involved. Whether it is a father, mother, teacher or an elder. Because it is a father does not make it correct or right. The more irritating thing is the men and women who are justifying the act. It really shows how people have normalized abuse because of the kind of home they grew in. Discipline and ill-treatment are two different worlds.

Instead of asking what triggered such hard treatment, so you can apportion blames, what happened to asking, what will a child do that should warrant such torture? Is it till he kills the child? Or is murder part of discipline? I hope the persons supporting this act will maintain the same energy when it is meted out on their child by an outsider. I can't imagine at this point in my life, my dad trying to raise hands on me or my grown siblings for whatever reason, he wouldn't even think of trying, because there are certain things one has outgrown. I was never raised in such an awful kind of parenting, and I myself or anyone will not try to use it on any child that comes through me.


It's almost very hard to stay a week in this country, without bad news that will ruin your mind. As security operatives ...
29/04/2026

It's almost very hard to stay a week in this country, without bad news that will ruin your mind. As security operatives assigned the duty of protection of lives and properties, you barged into the home of an innocent young individual by 2:am and shot him. After the homicide, you claimed that it was a mistaken identity. So while you were cracking your gun to shoot, while the victim was probably pleading for his life, you never settled to listen or to know whether you are fighting the real enemy? Is this how you gamble with people's lives? No questions, no arrest issued, you just kill an innocent person because you have a gun. What level of unprofessionalism is this, who makes mistakes with a life?

And then there is another group somewhere, who executed a young man in broad daylight. You claimed to have found a pistol in the parcel delivered to him and the only thing you could think of as a security agent, is to crack your gun, murder him and have the video recorded. What happened to fair hearing? Even when it was obvious that it was a set-up, he kept speaking but you were not willing to listen. What happened to an arrest and detention? Even the real criminals are detained before judgement. Who gave you the right to kill anyhow? These are people's children. What a lawless country without humanity, where lives mean nothing. How did we become comfortable with murder, Such cruelty!


A family announces the birth of their new born, the comment section is filled with congratulatory messages and well wish...
27/04/2026

A family announces the birth of their new born, the comment section is filled with congratulatory messages and well wishes. Three days later, the same family announces the death of the new born and the comment section is now flooded with blame and accusations. "It is not everything you post on social media, privacy is key". So from the impulsive judgements, the new born probably had died because the family announced the arrival at the time of birth, If the family were sensible enough not to do so, then the baby would still be alive. Definitely, there were some Internet spirits that attacked the child after the broadcast, which led to the death of that innocent baby.

I am not disputing the place of secrecy, especially where necessary and applicable. But we have people who never posted the birth of their newborn, but the baby died. We have private marriages that never made it to the media, yet the marriage didn't go or end well. Whereas, we have people who disclose the news of every significant milestone in their life, yet their testimony is preserved. As humans, we cannot escape fate, because eventualities are bound to happen. Whether it was broadcast or not, the baby would still have died. Circumstance can befall anybody, even when trying to be strategic or careful. You don't blame what is bound to happen, you don't find faults with the unpredictable.

What I'm still trying to understand, but can't, is how a set of people take laws into their hands to assault or lynch an...
22/04/2026

What I'm still trying to understand, but can't, is how a set of people take laws into their hands to assault or lynch an individual, simply because they sinned differently, without hurting anyone. When did we have moral sin? When did we have a lesser or more grievous sin? It's unfortunate that a sinner kills another sinner, simply because he does not sin their kind of sin. If God decides to kill humans for this same justification, how many will remain? Not on legal sanction, but a cheat and a wicked person will come together to kill another person, who does not sin like them. When did we start becoming selective of sin? Sin is Sin! The liar, fraud, you that exploit e.t.c are the same sinners.

Nigerians can be so insensitive with their comments and approach. Someone makes a post about the death of a loved one, y...
15/04/2026

Nigerians can be so insensitive with their comments and approach. Someone makes a post about the death of a loved one, you come to the comments to see "My dad will not die young, my mum will live long" like those persons were not favoured. News of a broken marriage is posted, "I'll marry once and marry right" as tho those persons married wrongly. A kind of negative situation is posted, that either demands a consolation or skipping. But no, that is when you see different kinds of declarations, affirmations right under such a post. What happens to sympathy? We try to look wise or act smart, like those persons it happened to were not lucky enough, forgetting that circumstance can befall anyone.


A few years ago, i once had a conversation with a closed one and while talking, he made mention of how he so desires to ...
12/04/2026

A few years ago, i once had a conversation with a closed one and while talking, he made mention of how he so desires to have a male as his first child. According to him, he can't wait to see the child grow to a certain age, hold his hands and become partners wherever they go. As at the time he spoke about this, he was still a bachelor. Not married, maybe not even engaged and still in the process of figuring life itself. Years later, we met and holding his hands was the male child he has so much fantasized about. My mind quickly flashed back to that conversation and here he is, with his son holding his hands just as he painted the picture. He didn't just have a son, he had a girl too.

Then I reminded him of the day we had that dialogue, how he was living the reality already. It happened so fast... Got married, had children and before you know it, a family has begun within the space of three to four years. Everything in this world needs time to be actualized. Time has a way of compensating our efforts and that is why I regard it as our only consolation. With time, from expectations, it becomes a manifestation. From wishes, it becomes a reality. From prayers, it becomes a demonstration of everything prayed for. It can be so fulfilling to see what we've anticipated, what seems like a long night of hopes and desires displaying before our eyes within moments.

It can be satisfying to know that time compensates. Time rewards, time pays and time makes up for the wait. When you read or listen to the story of men and women living their dreams, one thing is certain, Time. It takes time for things to come into shape, for things to be formed and for everything to come into being. As long as you are on the right track, on the path to becoming what you yearn for, as long as efforts are made, actions taken and consistency put in place, time will surely reward. When they say "it's a matter of time" I'm beginning to understand it more than how common it has been said. Yes, time will decide the fate of every step we've taken, pay off and settle the scores accordingly.

I've seen and concluded in some cases that the whole idea of success, is pushed towards another direction. From "success...
08/04/2026

I've seen and concluded in some cases that the whole idea of success, is pushed towards another direction. From "success is the best revenge" which I know may be a quite motivating quote, to preaching another kind of bended narrative which is not what it stands for. Success to me is a very personal experience, a personal need and a personal matter. I desire success because I want to be fulfilled and satisfied. I chase success because that is where part of my sense of purpose lies after the troubles. I see success as a kind of compensation to every effort I'd put in the past, an attestation to my victory and a self evidence that I conquered at the end.

Why then will I want to be successful to prove a point? I'm not bothered whether you've belittled me, looked down on me, hurt me, betrayed me, forgot me or refused me help... I'll not desire success to paint that idea of "This is the me that you once maltreated, see where I am today" I'll not chase success as a comeback to rub on my enemies face or to show my village people that I have made it at the end. That is a waste of energy and time. My process, struggles and efforts were all a personal experience to me, so If the success should come, it will also remain a personal experience to me. I have no point to prove to anybody, the only point I have to prove is the one proven to myself.


Sincerely, I'll promise myself not to speak about Nigeria's problems because of how tough it messes up with one's sanity...
01/04/2026

Sincerely, I'll promise myself not to speak about Nigeria's problems because of how tough it messes up with one's sanity, but I can't just throw myself out of it. Just at the point of thinking that everything is a little bit subsided, then you wake up to yet another bloody headline. A kind that ruins your day after seeing the aftermath of the incident. What do you stand to gain by coming into a community, wiping out people and leaving like that? What do you achieve after ending the lives of people for no just cause. You don't remove organs, you don't do anything with their bodies, you just kill, go and leave a long lasting agony. Is there some kind of fun in committing murder now?

Or is it to satisfy your dead conscience or what really? The heartbreaking part of the recent massacre is the woman who clung her dead son to her chest, saying he is not dead. What about the pregnant woman, no pity for the unborn. Or the other persons who were killed just like that. What was going through their minds when they saw death? what kind of prayers had they not prayed to escape that bloody day? What about the loved ones left behind? Kai! I pity these people. How can they be consoled for this kind of pain? I can't even imagine Nigeria happening to a closed one. It's only in this nation that you get eliminated for being a citizen. No crime... for just being a citizen and existing.

If someone tells you about a particular issue, loss or incidence that happened to them, that is not the time to start ca...
29/03/2026

If someone tells you about a particular issue, loss or incidence that happened to them, that is not the time to start casting blames, glorifying your tactics or displaying the "It can never be me" syndrome. My phone was stolen... "Oh, it's because you didn't keep it well and overslept" I misplaced my key... "You see, the way i hide my key in my purse, it will be difficult for me to misplace mine anywhere" I'm having a stomach ache... "You combine different foods when eating, as for me, I only eat once a day, it will be rare to have stomach pains" This happened to me... "Oh! I have told you before to stop passing that route, now you see the outcome"

I strongly believe that all of these things are not necessary. The best you can do is to sympathize with them and go ahead to give precautionary measures if you have any, to avert such future occurrences. You can never be too smart to outsmart life eventualities in general. You can never be too intelligent or strategic to be respected by the unpredictable. Situations like this do not happen to people because they were careless or not calculative enough, it happened because they are humans and we can be faced with any circumstance at any point of our lives. No need for any explanation or giving the feeling that it wouldn't happen to you, if you were in their shoe.

The kind of people we are as Nigerians really tells of the kind of government we have. The cheerleaders are only a refle...
25/03/2026

The kind of people we are as Nigerians really tells of the kind of government we have. The cheerleaders are only a reflection of who we are. Some average Nigerians are vile and full of spite. It is here you get to see someone having bitter opinions about your life. I don't know if this attitude stems from frustration or whatever. But in the media and online, it is what it is. Nigerians will shame you for almost everything. They will shame your person, your growth, disabilities, deformities, for not "being beautiful" you are shamed for not getting married, for not giving birth yet, for being broke. You are shamed for your body, belief, status, background and everything connected to you.

If you can be full of hate and spiteful towards someone you haven't met or seen, then I wonder how these kinds of people live or relate with people around them. In the end, if people like this happen to be elected into an office later, what good do you expect from them. That will rather give them the edge to unleash more of the bitteness inside of them. So if as an average citizen, you can't extend grace and kindness to people online and those you see, no position will change you. The few encounters you have with people is enough to make you understand that we are basically the problem and not where we quickly cast the blame. No wonder it is said that change begins with us and that's just it.

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