Derrick Waswa

24/04/2026

Some moments don’t need filters just respect for greatness. 📸🔥. Caught a moment with one of the realest to ever touch the mic. The beast rapper in Kenya. Different energy when legends are in the room. 🎤🇰🇪 nduru ya Wakadinali..

22/04/2026

People love pretending life is a perfectly fair race meanwhile some people started the marathon on a bicycle 😭. Listen, if life hands you an unfair advantage, use it wisely and move ahead. There is absolutely no medal waiting for you at the finish line that says: “Congratulations for struggling voluntarily.” 🤣

If you’re attractive, open those doors with that face card. If you have wealthy relatives, network like your ancestors invested in your future. If you’re naturally intelligent, stop acting confused for aesthetics. If you know powerful people, shake those hands aggressively 😭.

The world already runs on advantages, connections, timing, beauty, talent, and opportunity. Refusing to use yours doesn’t make you noble — sometimes it just makes you unnecessarily stuck. Class dismissed.

17/04/2026

A real man doesn’t walk a dog… the dog looks like it could walk him.
You won’t catch a guy saying, “Hold on bro, my Chihuahua is tired.” Tired from what? Emotional support? 😅 A real man’s dog lineup looks like:

Belgian Malnois-SI Unit of power
Boerboel — security system with legs
Bulldog — built like a gym instructor that gave up on cardio
German Shepherd — FBI agent in dog form
Siberian Husky — looks like it pays rent and still argues with you

Meanwhile a Chihuahua is out here barking like it pays bills but weighs less than your lunch.

16/04/2026

04/04/2026

In boxing, a punch to the ge****ls (groin) is classified as a "low blow" and is considered an illegal move under the Marquess of Queensberry and modern unified rules. If the low blow was intentional: Winner injured boxer cannot continue, the offending boxer is Disqualified (DQ), and the injured boxer is declared the winner.

Mbavu lost the battle, but he won the war. Majembe was a better boxer, but he messed with the legitimacy of his win. I think this was planned to initiate a rematch. I may be wrong.

14/03/2026

Babe auctioneers have seized my Porsche...

10/03/2026

Kenyan social media waves have the lifespan of a roadside rain puddle in January, dramatic for a few minutes, then the sun remembers it has a job to do.

Today the timelines are roaring with praise for Edwin Sifuna. Memes are flying, hashtags are marching, and somewhere on X (formerly Twitter) someone has already typed the sacred Kenyan prophecy: “Sifuna for President 2032!” — a promotion that in Kenya happens faster than a matatu conductor shouting “Tao! Tao! One seat!”

But seasoned observers like I know the rhythm of Kenyan waves. Yesterday it was "Hi Cousins" previously it was Morara Kebaso, before him was Kasmwell before Kasmwell was someone else trending, tomorrow it will be a new hero discovered between breakfast and lunch.

Sustaining a wave in Kenya is harder than sustaining free Wi-Fi in a matatu. So while the current Sifuna Wave is loud and energetic, history suggests it will slowly fold itself back into the familiar political system — that mysterious place where loud reformers often enter roaring and emerge speaking in parliamentary committee language.