BuRn YaRd EnT.

BuRn YaRd EnT. MUSIC TO TEACH

😂😂😂 in 1987 the Kikuyu and the Luo communities decided to have a drinking competition. A week before the competition, Ki...
01/05/2024

😂😂😂
in 1987 the Kikuyu and the Luo communities decided to have a drinking competition.

A week before the competition, Kikuyus sent Mwaniki wa Kamau to Kisumu to confirm if the competition will be held.

On arrival, the people of Kisumu brought 20Ltrs of their strongest brewed beer (Ko'ngo).

Mwaniki asked if he could taste and he was permitted to.

Instead of just tasting, he finished the 20Ltrs at once, and said ''This is ok 😁... Now where is the main beer?''

People were all shocked because nobody had ever taken more than 2Ltrs of this beer and stood breathing!

Then they asked him, 'Are you among the competitors? Mwaniki said, 'Me? Nooooo! I didn't qualify...!!
Competition was cancelled.🤣
_LABOUR_DAY_SPECIAL

BuRn YaRd EnT.🤣🤣

14/08/2023

Welcome to Kenya 😂😂
-We call every toothpaste COLGATE!
We don't care😂 😂 😂!
We are like that😂 😂 😂!
-We call every insecticide DOOM!
We can't help it😋😋😋!
-We call every detergent omo
It's in our DNA😜😜😛!
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who's sitting there”?
We are like that🙅🙅
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️!
We use our mouth and our hand to knock at the same time "koh koh koh" Who's in the house🙅‍♀️
We are just like that.
-When radii⚡ takes Electricity, we go out and, check if it's the whole
street!
We are just like that🙅🙅!
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a sim card
We don't have a problem🙈🙈🙈!
-We buy something, skip instructions & ask neighbors how it's
used!
We don't care😂🤣!
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it before walking away.
We don't trust anybody, not even a machine that is made by man😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣.
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before walking away!
We are courteous 😂🤣😂🤣🤣.
-We turn off the volume just to smell what's burning,
-We are like that😂🤣😂
-We can't change, the way we are 😂👍
-We are 😂😂🤪kenyans
🏊🏊😂😂😂
When We are inside a bus and the driver takes an unfamiliar route or turn, we all remove our ear phones to see clearly 😂😂😂.

We are Africans😂😂😂😂😂😀

17/07/2023

"SIPENDI
UJINGA MIMI"🤚🤚

1.Jana, nilikutana na boy fulani
akaniuliza
mbona nimekunja uso. ,nikamjibu,
nataka
kuiweka kwa Bag. Sababu mi sipendi
ujinga.

2.Juzi neighbor yangu alikuja
akaniambia
nipunguze sauti ya radio anataka
kulala.Jana
akipika chapoo na mimi nkamwambia
apunguze
harufu ya chapati nataka kula ugali.
Saa hii tuko
kwa landlord tunaongea hio maneno. Ju
sipendi
ujinga

3.Ushawahi katia mrembo sana mpaka
anakushow uende kwao akuna mtu
kufika
unapata pia yeye hayuko......KUMBE
HUYO
MREMBO HAPENDI UJINGA

4.Sasa polisi anatusimamisha eti juu
number
plate ya nyuma na ya mbele haifanani,
alafu
beshteangu anamuuliza k**a uso yake
na
matako inafanana.......mi imebidi
nicheke sai
tuko central ndo napatiana simu, so
nitakua
mteja kiasi .Hata polisi kumbe
hawatakangi
ujinga.

5.Ex wangu amenicall kuitisha
earphones
zake..nmempelekea earphones nkachukua
simu
yangu..nmemwacha akiziconnect kwa
radio. Hata
mimi nmerealise sipendangi ujinga.

6.Nimeenda hosi kupimwa
ugonjwa,results kukam
doc ananisho ati choo yangu ni
mbaya....sai
najenga ingine, sipendingi ujinga mimi

7.Nlitoka rave 3am juzi.Kufika Moi
avenue taxi
ya home inalipisha 1500 na basi ya
kwenda
mombasa inalipisha 700,Nlienda
Mombasa na
700 nkarudi na 700 na nkabaki na
mia.sitakangi
ujinga mimi.

8.Mlevi anapanda gari alafu conda
anamuuliza"na
hii ulevi yako utaenda mbinguni
kweli"mlevi
akamjibu"k**a mnaenda mbinguni
simamisha
gari nishuke Mimi naenda tu apa
ngara.......…........PIA MLEVI HAPENDI UJINGA

9.Mtoi wa neighbour amenizoea sana.
nikimtuma kitu kwa duka anakula tu.
juzi
nilimtuma mkate akaila, jana nikamtuma
blue
band akala. leo nimetuma super glue,
saa hii
haongei.ujinga sipendi 😎😎

16/10/2022

A white friend of mine has visited Kenya from Germany and he's telling me that our reading culture is very impressive to an extent that we carry newspapers to the toilet,, should I tell him the truth

♠

15/10/2022

The Distance between Egypt and Israel is about 613 Km, but it took Moses and the Israelites 40 years to complete their Journey.
On the average each day, they walked 43 metres!.
Yes 43 meters almost half of what Usain Bolt was doing in 5 seconds.
"I just wish Moses was alive to explain this laziness!"


BLESSED WEEKEND PEEPS✌

🤔🤔🤔

07/10/2022

FUN FRIDAY SETTYNGZ🎥🎥
LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION.
UON First year medical students were attending their first anatomy class in chiromo. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The professor started by teaching them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. The first is, 'Never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body'. So he inserted his finger into the dead body's a**s, put the finger in his own mouth and tasted it. Then he asked the students to do same. They hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body's a**s and tasted it, frowning.

Then the professor looked at them and said, 'The most important second quality is OBSERVATION. I inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2nd finger. Now learn to pay attention!'
All the students fainted.....
™
TEAMTWENDEZABE🏃🏃

Hii Life Iko funny sana, Your girlfriend has another boyfriend, who has a girlfriend, with another boyfriend of another ...
24/09/2022

Hii Life Iko funny sana, Your girlfriend has another boyfriend, who has a girlfriend, with another boyfriend of another girlfriend and the girlfriend has another boyfriend who happens to be you, wuuuuueeh 💔

SATURDAYZ
ZION WE DEH YAH 💚💛❤
BuRn YaRd EnT.BuRn YaRd EnT.™

18/09/2022

⚠ATTENTION!!ATTENTION!!⚠
Have u been throwing away POTATO peels.... Don't anymore.

1. Soak them in cold water overnight and thereafter

2. Add salt, a pinch of sugar and lemon juice.

3. Then leave the mixture under hot sun for 6 hours for the water to evaporate. After the water has evaporated.

4. Wrap the peels in a black polythene bag and wait for 10 minutes before carefully throwing them in a dustbin coz I don't know what you are trying to prepare.

💛💚❤BLESSED SUNDAY FAHM✌

14/09/2022

💚💛❤DASH WAY THE VIAL RASTAMAN💚💛❤
This reminds me I got blind men fighting then I shouted am supporting the one with knife then boom both ran away😅😅😅
⚠follylivin⚠
🔥🔥🔥🔋🔋

04/09/2022

🔋⚠MTELEZO SANDEI⚠🔋
First year of marriage: the man speaks, the woman listens. 🙎/🙎‍♀️

Second year: the woman speaks, the man listens. 🙎‍♀️/🙎

Third year: they both speak and the neighbors listen.🙎🙎‍♀️=👨‍👩‍👦👪👪👪👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👩‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👪

🤣🤣🤣.
Amen 🙏

29/08/2022

⚠MONDAY TALES⚠
™
Two mad men planned to run away from mathare hospital ....they planned to go and beat the watchman then open the gate and go ....when they reached at the gate the watchman was not there and the gate was wide open ,they looked at each other laughed and said our plan has failed let's go back and come again tomorrow.😅😅🤣

>keep on keeping on<
%slapper dapper%

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