09/02/2026
I came home from the store feeling responsible.
Fresh vegetables.
Eggs carefully packed.
Fruit, bread, chicken…
A productive, adult moment.
I put the bags down for ONE minute.
That was my mistake.
One immediately attacked the lettuce like it owed him money.
One inspected the chicken with professional intensity.
One claimed the grocery bag as premium seating.
And one started auditing the eggs like a very unqualified quality control manager.
The floor now looks like a construction site.
The groceries are no longer groceries…
they’re a live-action documentary.
At this point, I don’t cook meals.
I host chaos.
And somehow, they’re all looking at me like,
“Why are you stressed?” 😭🐾