10/06/2023
It is dawn on my uncles farm. I have fed the doves and the cats. The cats are no longer allusive. The female cat is now my friend and she purrs and rubs up against my legs. its taken me one whole week to befriend her. The black male cat is around but he dashes out of the cat flap as soon as I am in sight.
The weather has changed and it is wet and overcast. Scorching hot is on its way but right now it is grey, foggy and extremly humid. I noticed that the St Just locals talk about wind direction in the same way that the locals in Todmorden talk about all the rain.
I recently attended a talk by Kerri ní Dochartaigh at Tate St Ives, where she spoke of the origins of the word Mother and how it is one of the oldest words that exists. I google It and discover references from a study by Mark Pagel of Reading University, These are 23 of the oldest words in the English Language dating back some 15,000 years:
“mother, thou, I, not, that, we, to give, who, this, what, man/male, ye, old, to hear, hand, fire, to pull, black, to flow, bark, ashes, to spit, worm”
I am being called back to my role as mother though in spirit I do not feel I have ever left it, having made calls to my youngest each day to check he is ok. It is impossible to escape the pull of love.
I see things all in twos, two doves, two baby pigs, two snails, two cats.
I meet an artist at the exhibition opening who is also a drummer. He tells me that his sculptural installation consisting of black painted rocks collected from an ancient site near to his childhood home in Redruth carefully placed on metal shelves denoting the stave in a musical score represents a primal beat.
What came first the mark, the music, the dancing, the story and what does it matter?
I am knitting a long thin light blue jumper for my Stone. A baby Stone. Stones. Living Stones.
I am more Living than Stone.
Bleeding constantly from the womb has made me re-question and re-evaluate everything I do. I am not dying, its not cancer but it does affect my energy levels and how I feel. Since being down here the bleeding has subsided. I put it all down to the healing properties of the Men An Tol.