08/08/2026
POET MAN
(Lyric spoof of 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0 )
It's 7:30 on a Thursday
The regular crowd climbs the stairs
There's Jim the Host sitting near to me
Giving me prophetic stares
He says “Steve can you stick to the time limit?
You know how this always goes
It's 5 minutes, not 7 or 8,
You do this at all of your shows.”
La, la-la, di-dee-da
La-la, di-dee-da da-dum
Read us a poem, you're the poet man
Read us a poem tonight
We're all in the mood to be entertained
Though we've paid sod all for this sh*te
Now Andie Cropper's a friend of mine
And we all get to see her for for free
She's got solid verse, both verbose or terse
And I know she's a better poet that me
I say “Andie I believe you are good enough
To be a poet more widely known”
She says “Steve I believe that could be the case
But I'm happier staying at home”
La, la-la, di-dee-da
La-la, di-dee-da da-dum
Now Nicky works with them Firemen
No wonder she writes poems so hot
And she's talking to Ellie who turns the air blue
With the ranting rhyming poems she's got.
And Geoff P has deconstructed English
Creating comedic phrasing so well
Jim say's he's available for Children's parties
He could be joking, but who can tell?
Read us a poem, you're the poet man
Read us a poem tonight
We're all in the mood to be entertained
Though we've paid sod all for this sh*te
We get a pretty good crowd for a Thursday
And that's all thanks to the efforts of Jim
Who for 14 years has kept Dave Stead fed
As we sink money into the bar for him.
And the microphone is always the right height
Because Jim steps on stage to adjust
He's only Sky Arts Nominated you know
But still acts like a roadie to us.
La, la-la, di-dee-da
La-la, di-dee-da da-dum
So I'll read a poem, I'm the poet man
I'll read you this poem tonight
You may not feel like you've been entertained
But you still paid sod all for this sh*te.
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About, inspired by and dedicated to
Away With Words Hull