06/09/2026
When people say that transphobia affects everyone, this is what they mean. 🚨
I was shocked, but not surprised to see this under one of my photos this morning.
I am a woman who chose to have preventative surgery because of a genetic mutation that caused tumors and discomfort and significantly increased my risk of breast cancer. I chose aesthetic flat closure rather than reconstruction. 💃🏻
I am also a supporter of the trans community, and I find comments like these absolutely disgusting. No one should have their life threatened simply because they are trying to live as their most authentic self. 🫶🏻
A few years ago, I made a TikTok about how I would respond to someone pressuring me to get breast reconstruction. There were no words; just me going, “mhmmm, mhmmm, mhmmm.”
That video quickly surpassed a million views, and the hate comments came pouring in.
People told me I needed Jesus. They called me a freak. They told me I had mental health issues, that I had mutilated myself, that I was a science experiment, and you can probably imagine the rest.
A few holy rollers even told me that my tumors and my situation were due to the sins of my ancestors...
Fkn weird... 🫨
But what truly shocked me was how far some people were willing to take it.
One person told me I should put on concrete shoes and jump into a lake. Another told me that guns were cheaper than our healthcare system. Like what?!
People became so comfortable behind a screen that they felt entitled to tell a complete stranger to die because they didn't agree with what she had done with her own body.
And this is exactly why transphobia affects everyone.
These attitudes don't stay neatly contained within conversations about trans people. They bleed into other communities and reinforce the idea that there is only one acceptable way for a person to look, exist, or express themselves.
Just to be clear, these attacks towards the trans community should not be happening at all.
The breast cancer community receives these hateful comments too, particularly women like me who choose aesthetic flat closure instead of reconstruction, as well as anyone who doesn't fit the socially prescribed idea of what a “woman” is supposed to look like.
When you normalize mocking, dehumanizing, or threatening people because they don't conform to your expectations, you create an environment where those same attitudes can be directed at anyone who falls outside the “norm.”
I have said countless times, and if you look at any of the hashtags I put on my posts, my account is related to the breast cancer community. Unfortunately, it seems many of these insecure men (and a few women) lack comprehension skills and even the general skill to read.
It's sad that reading is a lost art. 😣
And yes, some of these posts are memes. Some people will say they're “just jokes." And, I must admit, I laugh at some of the comments the bigots leave; they think they are being creative, but it's really just stupidity.
Unfortunately, we live in a time, particularly in America (which I'm so glad I left), where guns are everywhere, and threats of violence cannot always be dismissed as harmless internet banter.
People should not have to fear for their safety simply for being who they are: because they're trans, because they've chosen a body that doesn't conform to someone else's idea of femininity, or because they're fighting breast cancer or trying to reduce their risk of developing it.
Honestly, I worry about the women in the lives of some of these insecure men. What happens if one day their wife, girlfriend, mother, daughter, or sister is diagnosed with breast cancer? What happens if she needs or chooses a mastectomy? What happens if she doesn't want reconstruction?
Will she suddenly deserve the same cruelty they've been throwing at strangers online? Will they kill her?
Nobody deserves this.
People have become far too comfortable saying this s**t online.
When did it become okay to threaten someone's life because you don't understand them? When did we decide that someone else's body, identity, or medical choices were an invitation for violence? Why can't people just exist how they wish to?
Are people really so insecure, or so threatened by a community of people simply trying to live authentically, that they feel the need to threaten lives?
I don't have much else to say.
Do better.
