07/24/2026
These days my health still flips in this journey through cancer. Come November, of this year, I'll be going into my 12th year... Just had my PET and the results weren't what I had wanted to hear! After going through a lot of treatment that started on January 2nd, the CAR T-cell therapy was a lot to go through. It took me out for several months. I'm doing better overall; but my results are not what I was hoping for. And I fell into that depressed mindset, as I've struggled with over these years.
Ah, it is the world now that we've created. Wanting, no, demanding instantaneous results ... I've suffered from that delusional thinking at times too. Youth demanding the perfect job, not willing to take that "lowly" job; musicians that won't spend the time doing the work, the training, etc. but demand results or the gig; some religious folks that demand a miracle now, almost as if they can treat the Creator like a Genie... I've had numbers of people say all kinds of things to me about instantaneous healing, and sometimes crazy thoughts as to why they aren't happening to me. 😳
I met with my doctor yesterday, he's been with me the longest. (I've had 8 oncologists in these 11 years). He cares about me and about the quality of my life. I've learned a hard lesson many times over: not all doctors are created equal. I'm very grateful for him.
The struggle to always enter back into life, after treatments, surgeries, biopsies, PET scans, CAT scans, EKGs, MRIs, endless blood draws, something down your throat, something up your butt, side effect this, side effect that... it gets beyond tedious to always be in alert mode. This isn't a "woe is me" rant, it's the harsh reality of what life can be for some patients. Cancer takes out too many people. Some cancers can get treated much sooner, and get results quicker; others it's a wild horrid Rollercoaster ! And for others, it can be a long, tedious journey into constant unknown territory. That gets old and tiresome.
I'm in another hold and wait pattern that will just take much longer than I will like... I do have to adjust my life constantly , but I will move forward, I will not let this overtake my thoughts and tear me down. Cancer always tries to do that.
