09/03/2026
MEET YOUR HOST: THE ELIXIR GYPSY 🔮⚕️
You paid for a fortune teller. You got an apothecary. Sorry not sorry.
Hi, I’m the Gypsy. Yes, I have the tent. Yes, I have the crystal ball. No, I don’t trust it.
My crystal ball says “you have a bright future.”
My apothecary bag says “drink water, you’re dehydrated and you need stitches.”
I trust the bag.
I sleep all day and work all night — perks of being a real-life nightshift nurse by trade and a Vagabond healer by choice. I’d rather fix people than give them hope with fortunes. Hope doesn’t stop bleeding. Yarrow does.
People ask how I met my husband, The Wandering Bard.
I ran him over with my caravan.
During the Great Plague, he was wandering. I was driving my caravan (on no sleep, 4 kids yelling, nightshift brain). He was in the road singing. I did not see him.
Bump.
So I, being a Nightshift Apothecary, did what I do best — I fixed him. Stitched him up, gave him Elixir, threw him in the back of the wagon so he wouldn't get run over again.
He never left.
4 chaotic kids later, he's still my favorite hostage. He says he loves being kidnapped. I say he loves that I do the driving now.
Come meet us both at Gypsys, Bards and Barbarians — Oct 2nd, Springbrook Multiplex
as your host, your healer, and your dealer of the infamous Elixir (contents: questionable, taste: memorable).
What I will do:
• Trade fortunes for trinkets • Tell you if you actually need that third mead • Be First Aid if you dance too hard with a knight from the Red Deer Reavers
What I will NOT do:
• Read scrolls before coffee (hence the 6pm doors incident) • Wake up before noon • Tell you what you want to hear
Come for the feast, stay for Obear Music, Thee Bardess, and my accomplice Pinky Pony Inn. Stay late for vagabond karaoke at 9:30pm.
First 100 tickets get entered to win a $700+ weekend at Einvala Luxury Viking Resort. Link in bio.
— Your Elixir Gypsy, Shannon
Apothecary on Duty. Fortunes Optional. Hydration Mandatory.
