RiRi’s House of Poetry (2026)

25/06/2024

Hello poetry lovers💘, it’s been…. A while😹.

Surprise… I’m still alive I just have been experiencing this thing we’ve all been going through… yk…. life. But I have missed you guys 🫶🏽 however writers block has been a serious pain. So…. what if we started this thing again with your help

While I’m ultimately lost on what to say I feel like you guys can help me out. So drop some topics you think I should write about, a word that I can base a poem off (yes I’m that good 😉) , or anything you think could be poetry worthy, even pictures can stimulate an entire world

Let’s work those brains babies … I’ll see what I can come up with🫡

28/09/2021

hey poetry lovers. it’s been a long time. not much of an intro i’ll let the work speak for itself

TW⚠️ 3am depression fueled thoughts

~if i die young~

roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and perhaps so are you
but the roses have wilted
the violets are dead
the sugar bowls are empty
your wrists are colored red

the sun isn’t shining
the sky isn’t clear
there’s no silver lining
cause you’re no longer here
rain keeps on pouring
there’s no end in sight
you’re lying there frozen
so far from light

your beauty’s unreal
your smile is the sun
but time can’t be turned
nor your actions undone
you pretended to be happy
your eyes gleamed like lights
we didn’t see your fear and anguish
it was blind in our sights

you stopped venting and talking
stopped opening up
stopped willing to live
and started giving up
with the death in the air
the forceful pain and sorrow
we’re holding our breath
in fear of tomorrow

my thoughts were focused on when i didn’t say “i”
when i used hypotheticals
except it was all a lie
i never meant her
i never meant you
i just wanted someone to pay attention
when i was feeling blue

always the consoler
never the consoled
i got tired of making everyone feel whole
when i’m a mere hole
searching for a soul
this isn’t a sad story
just a minor inconvenience
the only thing i ask,
is that you don’t worry

so as you pay attention
to the words that i wrote
page stained in red
“i love you so much
please don’t cry when i’m dead”
to no one specific
as i’m not sure who cared
scatter me in the pacific

or bury me in satin
send me away with words of a love song
band perry said it best
lay me in roses for my final rest
as i write this in tears,
hoping my memory lives on
fortunate for anyone’s “fears”
by the morning the burden will be gone

26/06/2021

Hey poetry lovers 💘

I’m trying something different today

TW⚠️

This is a piece I wrote back in 2019 so I was initially like ...cringe.

With a few new style modifications, I present to you

~death~

The word everyone fears
But somehow it’s still welcomed
The forthcoming dreadful
But somehow we’re all at peace

For reasons unknown death is as silent as a room full of whites after the entrance of a black
As silent as politicians after a cop’s attack on blacks
It’s as silent as GenX after a su***de they thought wasn’t coming
As silent as catholics after a priest’s little boy loving

It creeps up on you like a spider in the night
It slowly makes it’s way into your life
crushing any dream or hope of something better
Death doesn’t always come with a goodbye letter

Clutching onto life with one hand
Reaching for death with the other
Pulling yourself apart for one cause
putting it back together for the other
Death is here
Death is now
Death seems to be one thing:
Your worst nightmare
But maybe it’s my greatest fantasy

Death is my savior
Death is my salvation
Death gives me hope that I am truly not alone
Death is my friend
The one that holds my hand and reminds me to keep my head up
Death is my truth
The truth that spews out over unwilling onlookers
Traumatizing those brave enough to wander
Curiosity killed the cat
But in this story curiosity caused by me kills you
Drowns you in such self-pity
You break around the walls you’ve known to keep depression out
And find your way to it
You cave in the tunnels to the worst time of your life

But death is mine
Death is me
Death is all I imagined and more
So why am I unhappy
Why can’t I love this feeling of death consuming me?
Suffocating my dying body
Falling limp to the world and entering bliss
I try to get away
Death isn’t for me
I’m not ready
Kick cry scream
In that order
Breathe think try again

My mind a mess
My heart unbothered
My life unsorted
But am I ready to go?
Am I ready to spend an eternity in the grasp of death
Am I ready to leave this harsh reality?
To leave this cold unforgiving world

No thought
No chance to stop
Pulling the barrel closer to my head
BAM

I wish I had more to say
But death is my slave master
It tells me when to sleep eat and breathe
This time waking up just isn’t my dream

06/05/2021

Hey poetry lovers just a little overthinking rant ig💘

TW⚠️ mention of self harm and depression
Enjoy💘

~sunset~

Today i watched the sunset
Watched the colors of the sky cascade a glow down my street
Watched as the sky looked prettier in reflections
Be it a car glass, a mirror or a puddle of my tears
It looked beautiful

Like those aesthetic posts we like and add to a board
Figures, the sky is our real life Pinned interest
So today I watched the sun set
Reveling in the sunset
I basked in its rainbow colored glory
Wondering why it wasn’t as comforting as before
Then I realized nothing was anymore

Books seems too tedious to fall into
Songs seemed too hard to write
Poems seem too easily twisted into words of depression with a caption of a Trigger Warning
Nothing came easy anymore
Nothing comforted
Except a blade

I think all the time about when I was a child
A carefree ball of life with an endless smile
Back then it was easier to care for my scarred and scraped knees
Than it is now to take care of my scarred and open wrists
It was hard to swallow 1 pill for a headache
Than it is now to swallow 100 for depression
It was easier to cry and get told to be a “big girl”
Than it is now to have abstained from tears for months and told crying is good for big girls

But today I watched the sunset
Imagining how good it feels when no one knows I exist
Thinking that no one really cares when you cry
Because the only thing soothing is a smile
How will anyone ever notice when I’m gone
When you don’t even notice me when I’m here

I’ve tried taking it one day at a time
But every day is just the same
Get up, smile, then revert to the shell of a person
Sometimes I think I might be shallow
Cause with all my talent I hide in the shadows
But it’s so hard to be in the light
When your eyes are still tainted from tears of the night

This is my true religion of pain
Call it a pain gospel
And I’m the fearless model
Posing for my death shot
This is all I have left
So scared for the pain to stop

02/05/2021

Hey poetry lovers💘 last night thoughts

Disclaimer: TW⚠️

Enjoy💘

~bad again~

It’s getting bad again
I don’t know where to start
I’m back to barely eating
Forcibly breathing
Losing myself
Lost without help

“Use a rubber band”
“It’s safer” they said
No one warned against the euphoric feeling
Staring up at the ceiling

Cutters are like surgeons
The need to cut something drives them
Driving us insane
Sending us wild
Making us crazy
But depression making us “lazy”

I don’t mean to make excuses but
It’s getting bad again
I carry a blade just in case
But I smile and say “I’m clean” just to save face
I eat whatever’s handed to me
Then sprint to the bathroom, that’s the new me
The one who can’t keep a meal down
The one who’s always having a breakdown

I don’t mean to sound pitiful but
It’s getting bad again
Dragging a blade across my wrist
Wishing I had the courage to break a promise
To let that blade slip into my skin
To let the depression win

I don’t mean to come off as attention seeking but
It’s getting bad again
I’m fighting so many battles
Losing one after the other
Deciding which is worst than another
Helping and healing is my passion
Being iconic, forget fashion
Legendary, the true G.O.A.T
I’m good at what i do not to gloat

I don’t mean to cry out but
It’s getting bad again
I’m crying for help can’t you hear me
Over the sound of your own voice?
Time after time caught with my eyes moist
Ignored and discarded
It’ll be too late by time my cries are regarded
How many bruises do I need to be noticed?
How many fresh wounds to be pointed out?
How many tears to be taken serious?
How many “It’s getting bad again” for you to listen

“You’re fine. It was a phase”
A phase of my life that almost killed me
I don’t mean to be graphic but
I wish it had
Maybe then I’d be .... glad
Or maybe something else
Maybe if it did I’d feel something
Instead I’m numb to the world
Unable to feel pain
Unemotional to the mass
I’m no teacher and this is no class

I don’t mean to seem sad but
It’s getting bad again
So bad I release tears like rainfall
The pitter patter on the glass
Stop, slow down, take a breath
It’s gotten so bad again
That I’ve started visualizing my death

12/04/2021

Hey poetry lovers💘 it has been a strong minute but it is also with great pleasure i share with you my first poem of 2021

this is honestly not my best piece and i felt i could’ve done better but i want all of you on my journey to greatness so❤️ here we are

***DISCLAIMER: everything said here is pretty personal to me because it’s my truth and i stand in my truth so .... i said what i said 😸

ENJOY 💘

~wish~

i wish i could vocalize my thoughts
like confession after the sign of the cross
say what i’m feeling without reprimand
say what i wish and hear “i understand”
but i’m stuck in a bubble being psychoanalyzed
it’s like my mind is paralyzed
i’m not allowed to be sad
not allowed to feel glum
gotta smile when i’m anxious
not allowed to be numb

but truth be told i haven’t felt in months
101 days to be exact
not allowed to post a quote without someone feeling attacked
i’m not allowed to think
tried to say i wasn’t allowed to drink
being question about the way i blinked
but when will it be okay for me to breathe
does it have to be after i leave
leave to go where?
anywhere but here or there

i’m grateful to have used my words
but s**t i was never heard
i’m stuck in the situation that drove me here
drove me to stoli whisky beer
will i apologize for drinking?
no because i’ve already apologized for thinking
i don’t act the way you want me to
and you think it came out of the blue

i’m trapped inside a cage
feeling nothing short of enslaved
i just want to go out
finally leave my house
feel like i’m free
instead you treat me like i’m 3
then force me to be grown
yet tell me i’m not grown
your logic has me thrown
this place doesn’t feel like home
it’s a prison that i live in
you’ll be mad if you see this it’s a given

i was told to avoid the sad stories
because it had people worried
had people thinking i wasn’t okay
made them think i was gone leave one day
i was told to be myself
then frowned upon when i don’t act like everyone else
i was told to open up
when i did i was told to shut up
never listened to
yet always heard “this isn’t you”
yes it is this is me
someone you always hated i’d be
“we used to talk” is the most agonizing lie
but it got me thinking why

i wish everyone saw me
saw the words i said and the pictures i paint
saw the hearts i’ve mended and the lives i’ve saved
but instead everyone sees the broken girl
the one with the scars
the one who always seems to be on mars
daydreaming so far i’m on another planet
my funeral was intricate in my head. i planned it
no don’t be alarmed i’m getting better
still have thoughts still writing letters
there’s a lot i need to heal from
the trauma fairy just adds another one

this person isn’t me
obsessing over leaving the house just to be
to be free to feel alone
to feel better than when i’m at home
i can’t get better if i’m trapped inside this cage i own
for a bird can never fly if it’s not let out into the sky

27/12/2020

Hey poetry lovers💘 This is just a 12AM mental breakdown depression filled insomnia anxiety attack induced poem🤷🏽 This was written because talking to people genuinely makes me uncomfortable and i feel like a bother immediately and then i back away and suffer silently.

PS. My social meter ran out and my depression was my only friend atp

ENJOY💘

EDIT: TW (self-harm, depression)
~ sorry ~

i’m sorry i text your phone so often
you’re the only person keeping me out of a coffin
talking to you keeps me semi okay
i’m sorry i want to talk everyday

i try not to bother
unless i’m drowning in deep water
water from my mind though there’s a fire in my soul
that fire seems to have gotten cold
it’s been extinguished
to depression my life i relinquish

i’m sorry i become so annoying
a blade against my wrist i’m toying
i’m failing at pretending
the voices talking about my life, it’s ending

i’m drawing nearer to my death day
but there’s still much i have to say
my poems were supposed to encourage
i just need 5 minutes of courage

5 minutes with the strength to end it
to meet my death sentence
inflicted upon myself
i’m trying but i can’t help
i’m screaming i’m crying
worst of all? i’m dying
dying to take the nose dive
i just wanna see you all thrive
some of you want to see me survive
once i’m gone i can’t be revived

i’m trying to complete my work while i’m here
i’m screaming cant you hear?
do you even care?
would you even dare?

s**t i’m sorry that i exist
in due time it’ll cease and desist
my existence
i thought i was different
thought i’d make a change
i guess that’s just life, strange
i’m sorry for my life
sorry i didn’t pick up the knife
i’m sorry i wasn’t a better friend
i’m sorry but this is my end

25/12/2020

Hey my poetry lovers💘 I know a poem was posted just yesterday but this was a little piece i wrote down in the middle of a mental breakdown 😹 how fun. Not my best but I’m here to grow with you guys so you may get the good bad and the ugly.

ENJOY💘

*Disclaimer - the last 2 lines are accurate**

~ last night ~

i almost took my own life last night
to stop myself took all my might
i know not talking isn’t healthy
but venting wasn’t meant for me
it makes my mind go numb
my heart thump like a drum

i’ve never been this bad
these are the worst attacks i’ve ever had
mental breakdowns left and right
it’s too much for me to fight

i’m in constant pain
but it’s more in my brain
or rather in my mental
i love y’all that s**t isn’t me i’m not sentimental

i’m fighting to survive for you
feels like i’m drowning and suffocating too
i’m numb to the pain on my exterior
cause the pain i feel is in my interior

it’s a dull ache
one i cannot shake
i’m in tears
i have been for years
i’m not interested in your pitiful stare
or your resentful glare

your “she’s attention seeking” comments
i hope you all enjoy my content
it’s kept me alive this long
but this is always the same sad song
a story about my self harm
about the marks on my arms
but they’re not just there
they’re everywhere

surrounding my body like a glove
cutting felt like a different kind of love
one that i could provide myself
without anyone’s help
popping pills cause they worked quicker
then i’m out in a flicker

with prayers sent that i never wake up
but it never happens and that’s just my luck
i’m tangling my arms together
it’s not cause of the cold weather
rather to keep me from reaching for a blade
to slice my wrists in every way

one cut two cuts three cuts four
my blood dripping onto the floor
i lost count at number 8
the euphoric feeling is great
as if nothing could ever break me
the one thing i’ve wanted so greatly
to say that i’m okay would be a lie
so i believe that this is my final goodbye

24/12/2020

Hey Poetry Lovers💘 it has been a .... i don’t even know what to call it but it’s been roughhhhhhh. I did promise a poem for last weekend but my mental status did not allow for that to happen and it almost didn’t happen for this one as well butttt here we go

This piece took a turn i didn’t know it would take but that’s life isn’t it💘

ENJOY💘

~ pain ~

your goal is to kiss in the rain
mine is to rid myself of this pain
my su***de jokes turning into a reality
it’s a fatality
su***de is blasphemy
cutting is a blast for me

the thrill of each cut
when i talk about su***de it ain’t no bluff
this battle with depression getting harder
i speak about su***de and i’m willing to be a martyr
one for the sake of the under spoken
maybe then your eyes will open

i’m 17 years old
with a heart of pure gold
but my brain has been tainted
across my skin my blood is painted
painted with the blood sweat and tears i’ve shed
yes when i cut i only see red
i’m lost .... the title of the last poem you read

this isn’t just about me
it’s about all of us you see
the kids you tell “depress then dishes”
you’re denying our wishes
to open up and let go
to finally look at a blade and say no

you’re too prideful to get your child help
afraid of being labeled “the helped”
bickering back and forth
you have no remorse

i’m 17 years old
the weight of the world is what i hold
upon my shoulders
it’s like a bolder
waiting to crush me
your ignorance bugs me

my battle with depression is futile
everyday i have to save a new child
i love what i do
i’m doing it for you
but let me be honest for a second
no rehearsed lines this isn’t a TV segment
i’m struggling to find my way
struggling to find reasons to stay

fighting with myself
fighting for my own help
i’m drowning in pain
blood falling like the rain
this isn’t what life was supposed to be
i’m supposed to be carefree

helping you makes me feel whole
but it’s not filling this hole
the hole that filled with my blood
a hole created from a lack of love
a hole created from lies and half truths
a hole that’s plagued my entire youth

this isn’t how i’m supposed to live
to you my poems i give
this could easily turn into a su***de note
flooding your screen by the time you awoke

“she never hinted at signs”
my life feels like a lie
“she never told anyone”
i did you made jokes and made fun
“it’s you we’ll be missing”
if that was true why didn’t you listen

i’m screaming it out HELP I CANT TAKE IT
while you’re looking at shoes, picking your favorite
i promise that i’m fine
i broke a promise but that’s my favorite line
this could be the last you hear from me
and can i just say that I’m sorry
but a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
may your life be filled with nothing but good cheer

10/12/2020

HEY POETRY LOVERS .... I know i have been MIA lately and i send my greatest apologies BUTTTT good news is *drum roll please* there will be a new poem posted THIS WEEKEND💘 Are you not absolutely ecstatic?

A special piece for everything that’s been going on lately 💘

30/11/2020

Goodnight my poetry lovers,

I do apologize for the late poem tonight. It has been a really rough day and I honestly was not going to post this poem anymore after reviews I received on it. This came from a dark place but I hope this helps even one person💘

ENJOY💘

** Disclaimer - this may be my last poem for a while. A few reviews on this made me rethink my approach and put me in a really bad place.

~ lost

I’m lost in my own mind
A mind that’s pretty one of a kind
A mind that can heal
A mind that helps you to feel
But this mind? I’m losing it
My body ? I’m bruising it

My mind is on it’s own journey
One that could land me in a gurney
Strapped to a table
Pushing quetiapine just so I’ll be stable
Prozac, Xanax other drugs alike
These are all reasons I can’t pick up a mic

So I write poems instead
In hopes to changes lives before I’m dead
That sounded kinda solemn
But my book of poetry I’ll let you hold em
I’ll give you my passwords
So you’ll have access to my last words
Be it a su***de note
Or a poem entitled “stay woke”

My anxiety gripping me from the inside
So I’ll have no other choice but to tell lies
Saying I’m okay
Telling you I’m fine
But I’m running out of time

Time to heal the broken
Time to help the under spoken
Time to build a “SafeHouse”
Not doing this for clout

I speak from my heart
My poetry is art
It’s about my life and the troubles I’ve faced
For my poems you need to be braced
Prepared for a little gore
I hope you come back for more

It’s not meant to scare
But for you to become aware
That depression is a serious issue
Don’t want you picking up tissues
To wipe the tears from your eyes
To tell me your loved one died
You need to know the signs
To know when you’re being told lies

I know I sound hypocritical
No my situations aren’t hypothetical
I speak about cutting because it’s my safe haven
Talking about my depression has me jaded
So I’d rather speak about you
I want you to tell me your truth

When was the last time you picked up a knife
Trying to end your own life?
Has it been a month? Or two or three?
It hasn’t been that long for me
I was doing good
Even though I felt misunderstood
Until I relapsed
Wont bother with a recap

Just know I started painting with my own blood
Cutting was the only thing I knew as true love
It left me at ease
So I can sit here and write with a breeze
Type up how I’m feeling
Even if my mind is reeling

29/11/2020

Hey poetry lovers,
We were able to make something work and we were on time (or close enough). I do apologize if it’s not my best. Depression and writers block caught up with me today🥲

ENJOY 💘

~ girl ~

There was once a girl
Who had a smile that could light the world
Her confidence was evident
She was a beauty. Almost looked heaven sent

Her beauty distracted you
From what you didn’t know was her truth
She had scars covering her “perfect” figure
She was depressed but you didn’t figure

She painted her body with her own blood
She didn’t feel she was deserving of love
Even with tears in her eyes
She found a way to smile
She found a way to strive
Yet her demons still thrived
Attacking from all sides
Fighting all the while
Coming after her pride
She was faking her confident stride

You only saw her exterior
Not the war on the interior
She was broken for so long
Everyone she loved did her wrong
She was violated
Filled with so much hatred
Hurt beyond belief
Cutting her only relief

Popping pills like they were candy
Starving herself, a new form of therapy
Her body treated like trash
Wounds self inflicted
Bruises that’ll heal
Anything she could to feel

You took her depression as a joke
It gave you a good laugh
Now the akekeke has passed
She’s 6ft below
You screaming “I didn’t know”
When she told you
She begged for help
In the subtlest way
Praying you’ll catch on one day

That day took too long
And now she’s gone
You’re saying you wanted to fix her
But she wasn’t in need of fixing
She just needed someone to listen

Listen to her rant and rave
About her long damn day
About her depressed state
That’s all she’s been as of late
Depressed
She wants her mind to rest
To give her a break

But she still smiled
Even she believed it was real for a while
Until she caught a glimpse in the mirror
That voice becoming superior
“You aren’t all that”
“Don’t forget you’re a bit fat”
Screaming at her in her head
With a voice like that she just wanted to be dead
For the screaming to end
The voice was never her friend
Just anxiety forcing social awkwardness
Use common sense

She’s shaking
Breaking
Crying
Dying
No more tears
A hell of a lot more fears
She just wants to be free
And that she is me

RiRi’s House of Poetry

25/06/2024

28/09/2021

26/06/2021

06/05/2021

02/05/2021

12/04/2021

27/12/2020

25/12/2020

24/12/2020

10/12/2020

30/11/2020

29/11/2020

Address

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Establishment

Shortcuts

Share