06/10/2026
“I’m one of the good guys. I’ve never assaulted a woman.”
Okay. What would you like? A fu***ng parade?
Not assaulting women is the minimum. We need to have a substantially more ambitious definition of a good man.
Why are women still doing so much of the work of demanding that we be safe?
We’re frightened. We’re furious. And then somehow we’re also in charge of preparing the educational materials.
Explain it gently. Don’t alienate the men. Tell them it could be their daughter.
Fine. Your wife. Your mother. Your daughter. Your sister. Your grandmother.
Now, can we extend that concern to a woman you don’t know? She shouldn’t need a male relative to make her safety matter.
And to the men who do care: what are you doing with that concern?
When your mate talks about women like we’re disposable, do you challenge him? Or is keeping the evening comfortable more important?
When someone shares an intimate image without permission, do you tell him to stop? When a mate controls his partner, do you recognise it, or call him protective?
Are you talking to your sons about entitlement, rejection and respect? Are you doing any learning that doesn’t require a woman to hand over her worst experience as course material?
Because consent education matters. But a lesson can’t do all the work while the group chat, the workplace and the boys’ club teach something else.
We need men practising how to intervene. Fathers, coaches, bosses and mates setting expectations and following through. Institutions with proper reporting processes, fair investigations and consequences, rather than a passionate commitment to protecting their own reputation.
And we need to measure whether behaviour changes. Attendance at a seminar is not the same thing as women being safer.
You say you respect women. Good. What does that cost you?
An awkward conversation? Your mate’s approval? Challenging someone with more power than you?
Women are already paying for this with our freedom, our health and our lives.
You can survive an uncomfortable barbecue.
It’s fu***ng time to enter the chat. And men, you need to do more than watch us have it.
